Living an experimental hermit’s life

July 21, 2016

These days I spend most of my days in my plantation. I rarely ever go down to the village any longer. I find the company of my dogs quite sufficient. I work mostly with my hands under the hot sun…..the only thought I seem to ever hold on too for any period of time is to remind myself constantly to drink as much water as I can – I used to go back to the plantation house when the sun is highest at two, but these days, I prefer to chow in the field – I find that whenever I return back for any reason…I rarely ever come out again…I know it doesn’t sound like much of a life, then again…I am never truly alone even when I am…never.

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‘If you set out in life to be liked by everyone. You must be prepared to compromise on everything under the sun, and since you are have spread yourself so thinly across the social landscape like trying to make the last scoop of peanut butter cover all four corners…you will probably end up living a compromised life as well.

That’s what most people do….it’s not an indictment on the human species…it’s just what most people HAVE to do….to get by. It’s not as if they have anything else resembling such a thing as a choice…they don’t.

But as I grow older – I find it’s no longer important to invest one’s time on meaningless pursuits such as hanging out with strangers just to come across as a likeable person or worst still to seek the approval and validation of people who you hardly even know…that’s a game for kids – suddenly those things don’t matter very much to me any longer….that’s all I am saying.

So I have a choice….I can shut the world out in the four corners of my plantation…that I can do and never see a single soul thru out the whole entire day.

You see…the only thing I really care about these days is to get to know myself better – I realize this may come across as weird to you…but I’ve never really gone down deep inside who I really am.

I am not just talking about the superficiality of who I or others think I am….I am referring to the real me…..to make a strong connection and to have a deep spirited conversation with this stranger….if I can do just that regularly, then maybe I will discover other things that I didn’t know about myself…like this afternoon when I was pushing a pile of rocks in a wheel barrow up a slope. Somewhere in my head….a voice whispered, slow down…what are you trying to prove? Hey, what’s the point of reaching all the way up there only to flatten out for the next fifteen minutes? There’s no one here to impress…it’s just you and me…slow down…take your time…I laughed to myself…how right!

Do you see what I am getting at?

It’s only when one makes a conscious effort to fellowship with the self….that we become aware that our being is continuously giving us hints…..truth is we are not truly who we are even to ourselves…we just like to think we are – truth is most of us is one part: what others think we are, the rest, we just make it all up somewhere in our heads to believe whatever we choose to believe – but the real you or me that we have never ever had a conversation is always whispering to us – whispering stuff like what to do…how and when to do it along with maybe even whether we should or should not to do it at all….it’s just a whisper…..nothing loud or full frontal like Boo!

One’s being doesn’t ever shout….not at you or even others, that at least seems very true from my first hand account. But you can really only hear it when you’re made a genuine commitment to start seeking out this other person who resides deep down inside you.

This inner being who is the person that is really you….not how others or even you see yourself.

That’s not real!

This inner being is…he will never lie to you…he will never lead you astray. As he’s not someone whose trying to be someone else except maybe you….and that’s the first step to maturity – when one feels the inner tug to have a meaningful conversation with the self.’

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