On Maturity

September 9, 2016

The strangest thing about money is when one has none or very little of it – one is always looking at everything in the world with hungry eyes of yearning and desire. But once one comes to money and eventually learns to be comfortable with it. Suddenly all the sense of yearning and desires that one was afflicted with in the past disappears completely….it’s as if one has magically been transported to another realm where one is always asking, ‘what’s the big deal…it’s after all such a bloody anti climax!’

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‘It’s much easier I imagine to go through life by relying on someone else than to complete yourself.

That is why most people prefer to work for others rather than start their own enterprise. It’s really much easier to show up at the office and not bother about who bought the furniture and provisioned the paper clips etc etc. That attitude also accounts for why so many people seem to suffer unnecessarily from a morbid fear of doing things all by themselves. They’re always investing all of themselves in others and trying to seek safety in numbers…of course, they couch it in terms of friendship and company etc etc. But in reality, this clingy attitude is just a way of masking their real fear of loneliness…that I imagine is very natural.

Man after all has been conditioned to be a social animal….and in all honesty, it takes considerable effort to break away from that mindless gyre.

Neither can most people bear the idea of being independent either. Once again they may all insist they’re independent but a deeper examination prompts the question – how can they be! When so much of their existence is premised on interdependence along with seeking the child like validation, approval and respect of others – the idea of independence must really be a distant and unknown country to modern man.

As there is no doubt whatsoever in my mind. For one to strive to be alone and even comfortable with that idea requires a certain degree of mental discipline and rigor to first accept oneself….I wouldn’t go so far as to call it confidence. No! That is not the right word to describe this attitude. Rather it’s closer to the idea of maturity where one is prepared to assume total responsibility for one’s destiny.

It’s a completely different way of seeing oneself in relation to the world – where one might perhaps carve from the raw material of loneliness itself, the idea of freedom to lead and plan one’s life.

Yes, from time to time. It is still certainly frightening (to me at least) when the person who decides to live independently realizes when he shouts out the question in the dark, whose there? And when no answer of any kind emerges from darkness ….this man might well be the most desolate human in this planet. But soon this forlorn feeling of estrangement passes, as a voice inside answers, ‘it is only I’

To be able to hear this inner voice is the moment – when the man child dies and the mature man is born ….As he has begun the journey to self discovery.’

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