I am so confused all the time…..

Today I went down to town to stock up on provisions and order a new set of sunglasses. Usually when I visit the optician. The proprietor an elderly gentleman attends to me. But on this occasion his assistant told me he was outstation – so she attended to me instead.

She is a charming girl. At bit on the chubby side, very giggly and enthusiastic and eager to please. What I find quite confusing about this girl is whenever I ask her to show me the range of lenses – she would bent so low behind the counter that I can literally see her tits dangling. I was wondering to myself. Surely she understands what’s happening here. After all I am seated on the other side of the counter directly before her and it’s quite plain that I will only see what I see – but it happens all the time in a way that suggest she is completely oblivious what she’s revealing to me. When she flashes me the I absolutely dunno what you can see look while asking me again – do you want to see more?

Maybe I should look away. Or pretend to be distracted. But I really don’t know what is happening. I don’t. I never really quite know with women…and that is really the source of the misunderstanding – that is why I keep a respectful distance with them. As I’ve got myself into a lot of trouble in the past. As in the past some women have come up to me and promised me a good time – only for me to yelp out whoopee – but when I appeared with my favorite dinosaur imprinted melamine plate and asked them expectantly, are you going to cook some home cook food for me….as I have been surviving only on cardboard flavored military rations. They all seem to look down casted as if I’ve missed the plot. On another occasion. I SMSed a girl who asked me whether I liked her – yes, I think about you all the time. That was my answer. She appeared in my plantation with her father and three burly brothers and demanded I marry her. I told her all I really wanted was some of her delicious Bak Chang. They left as confused as me. On another occasion I used to pack dinner during the afternoon in a warung where the girl would bill me only $1.50 cents no matter how much I ladled. This eventually erupted into a kampung scandal where other patrons complained that they were paying much more than me. Only to be told one day I needed to repay back the favor. When the girl appeared at my gate one day I asked one of my farmhands to show her a place where she could dig a hole. As I thought all she wanted was an opportunity to work and supplement her income. She stormed off crying. I no longer go there any longer – I don’t know what is happening. I am always so confused.

All I really want is a pair of sunglasses…why is it always so complicated. I don’t understand. I really don’t.