The art of setting down and picking up things in life – Part 2
March 10, 2017
It is remarkably easy to pick up a thing. But to put it down gracefully without begrudging that one has too is incredibly difficult.
‘I never ever said it is easy to put down a thing in life. Never.
I will speak plainly. It’s very difficult not to be clingy about it.
But when we ask – why is it so difficult to put down that thing?
Be it the desire to look young forever. Or to be rich. Or even to have influence and to continue receiving the respect and love of others….to me that clingy atttiudr boils down to many of our insecurities concerning how we regularly see ourselves in relation to others.
Truth is too often we are more intrested in what others may think about us, then even what we may think about ourselves!
That is the great paradox of our age – we much prefer to look outwards for self affirmation and respect than to ask simple questions like – do we love and respect ourselves?
This outward attitude can only feed a vain and incredibly egoistic mindset.
As a consequence since there is nothing within. Man can only look outwards for self validation, love and respect – when others say, he is jolly good fellow. He feels good about himself as it nourishes his ego and vanity. Conversely when others disparage him – he gets all hot under the collar. And again he gets clingy.
And this is what invariably happens when man ONLY looks outwards and not inwards.
When one is constantly looking outwards to gain the approval and respect of others – it’s impossible to put things down gracefully with an open heart. Impossible. Often these things need to be pried from the man’s death grip. Often the process is so violent, it leads to his self destruction.
Many years ago I came across a suicidal man wandering my lands to end it all – when I asked him why, the suicide told me that he had failed in his business and as a consequence it is very difficult for him to face the world. No one wants to be befriend him any longer. Even his wife has left him for another man. The man told me in his own words – life no longer has any meaning for me.
But when I shared with this suicide my philosophy that the most beautiful people in this world are beautiful because they have experienced great loss, suffering and pain and this has made them more sensitive, kinder and less arrogant souls to emerge as stronger and happier souls.
Then something clicked in the suicide head and finally even he came to the great realisation – beautiful people don’t just come about like grass growing in the wild.
Eventually I managed to punch a hole into the mind of the suicide that maybe this set back is not such a bad thing after all.
As now instead of having to look outwards for validation all the time like an insecure child. He would from this moment onwards be forced to look inwards for the very time in his life to gain inner strength to climb out the depths of bankruptcy.
Many years later when the man had made good his countless debts to his creditors, cleared his name and rebuilt his business from the carnage – he sought me out again.
This time I noticed he was a much more sensitive, considerate and genuine soul. And since he is less inclined to court the approval of others and instead draw strength from deep within. He now trust himself. Despite his new found wealth. He lives a much simpler life which was infinitely less complicated than the life he previously led.
In summary he’s a much happier and rounded person. That is to say, this man has finally learnt how to put down all his false Gods and to only pick up the meaningful and worthy things in life.’