Living peacefully with autism
April 14, 2017
A while back ago I told a sad couple who has an autistic child….never be ashame of your child…..not even if all others seem to ever do is to give you looks of disapproval. Because should you be so weak minded as to succumb to that sort peer pressure then all you would end up doing is to spend all your waking moments trying to pound a square peg into a round hole…it is not that the hammering is exhausting work. Or that it’s frustration.
The problem is that you will end up destroying the peg.
‘I am autistic. I may not come across as noticeably autistic…..but that’s only because at some point in my life I experienced a moment of epiphany where it could be said I realised I was different from all other boys.
The first lesson every autistic person who comes to consciousness learns is the world can be a very cruel place….it is always trying to make everyone dress, think and behave the same. So I spent a lot of life pretending to be someone who I am not…..I do it so well that unless you’re incredibly perceptive you would probably not realise that I am autistic.
But I am autistic. And to be autistic simply means one has to learn to live as best one can in a world where everyone is trying to hammer a square peg into a round hole.
I gathered very early on in life that for me to gainfully live a purpose driven life I needed to dedicate myself to financial liberty to create a world within a world to protect me from the ravages of the world.
As a consequence I started working very early in life. My first job saw me working as a dog handler – since I can walk into the heart of animals. They trust me completely. Even at a very young age I could get animals to do virtually anything from jumping thru hoops to putting kids who bullied me in hospital for a very long stay.
Even today I trust animals more than humans.
When I reached adulthood. My Father experienced a catastrophic financial set back and when it seemed as if I had to put my studies on hold – I told myself just like Forest Gump – I will tranverse the great ocean and make my way to the UK, where I would work and get myself an education. I worked many jobs to put myself thru University – it was an epic perpetual grind. But I always took exceptional pride in my labor….I saw work not only in terms of salvation….but as a sort of discipline approaching religion….as a means of rendering me equal in a bent world. And that attitude would see well thru the most of life.
I guess what I am trying to say in a round about way is I have always had an expcetional level of faith in nature – that’s to say I believe wholeheartedly – what nature takes cruelly with one hand she will give back in equal measure in another way….and that single minded belief was really why I never saw my autistic nature as a deficit. Or anything resembling a character flaw. Rather I could always take solace in the calm belief – despite my many flaws that may have rendered me fragile in so many worldly domains….I was overtly conscious …I can do many things that other people can never ever do….not even if they have ten life times.
I can for example crunch numbers with remarkable ease in my head and reduce lecturers who singled me out for villification into shambolic grovelling children. Squeeze in whole tomes and maps along with tabula data in a single sitting only to spit it all out without even a single error in punctuation mark or a full stop. If I am really bored. I can even peruse thru a telephone book with an air of mischief and in a matter of a few minutes draw correlations as to why people with the name Smith would likely die younger than let’s say someone who goes by the name of Harris. I can even tell you what’s the probability of North Korea firing an ICBM under a given set of conditions and it would be mathematically spot on with zero margin for error!
I can do all these things and much more…..
But I think what’s important is for one to strive daily to hold on jealously to that belief even if the world makes it awfully hard to do so – nature is incredibly fair…she is….and if you care to still yourself and look at nature…that is how it actually is….what she takes with one hand…she will give back the same in kind secretly with another…..you have not been shortchanged in life!…if you’re autistic or have to raise an autistic child.
You would do well to always remember this…as to forget it is to be opposite of hopeful and without that there can never be a break out!
All it takes is for someone to discover your gifts and to love and accept you for who you really are instead of trying to make you someone who you were not meant to be….I am a farmer. Not any farmer. But if there exist an Olympics for farming. I would most certainly be up there amongst the highest yielders based on efficiency of hectarage….these days, ironically I no longer need to pretend so hard to be someone else any longer.
These days other people who need my business are more than willing to do that and much more…..but what did you really expect….like I said, I have incredible faith in nature….what she takes with one hand she gives an equal measure with another….you just need to learn to discover and appreciate what she’s provisioned…it’s all given….it’s all there….the accounts are all squared.
So give up the idea of trying to be someone else or the guy next door…besides that idea is overrated…if other people don’t have the intelligence or imagination to appreciate you for who you are….just tell them to go and fuck right off – trust me the funny thing with money….is they will even ask how do you like me to fuck myself?
Just be incredibly proud of who you are and have faith the cards you have been dealt in life have been is very good to go!
One day I will walk into a show room in America and buy a brand new yellow Honda jet and fly it around the world.’