The mystery of the fearful monkey?

April 16, 2017

While in the city. I was invited by an erudite group of antrophologist to give my studied opinion of what appears to be a wooden depiction of a scadey cat monkey. It seems no one can agree on what this monkey is supposed to symbolise.

I told them all it’s a toothache monkey – this chap is usually placed next to a person suffering from an excrutiating toothache to spiritually cut the pain. The droppy chest is supposed to represented loss of power.

Same goes for this exceptional charming lady I am standing next too (check out the well plucked eyebrows) – she’s supposed to be a love goddess who has supernatural powers to render the dearly unfortunate wifey more beautiful and even has rare powers to improve a man’s libido…..don’t even need to be a Mensa member to figure out how it works. All one needs to do is stand next to this beauty for a couple of minutes every day and in no time even your hunchback and two metric ton internal beauty other half would look like a hot Sasha Grey.

Tribal symbolism is very easy to understand actually, often it’s incredibly straightforward and bullshit free….very easy to connect the dots…there was one time when I was treated for chronic migraine deep in the jungle….all the witch doctor did mumble something like yabadabado. There after he whipped out a big dino bone club and proceeded to give me two quick whacks on my perfectly healthy big toe …..after that the pain in my head disappeared completely. Instanteous cure…faster than even extra strong soluble Panadol…as thereafter all I could do was hop around feeling the pain on my swollen toe…the pain in my head poof! It is was gone…very simple…no mystery there….no Da Vinci code there.

As for this grumpy chap. He’s called the dream merchant…well to cut to the chase he’s like the United Airlines of the tribal world. If let’s say you’re feeling stressed and need a holiday from presumably yourself – the quack will be summoned. He will whip up a beverage of Ganja leafs along with other unmentionable stuff and put this wooden figurine with wings next to your teddy bear and soon you will soaring to your dream destination with probably no teeth…but never mind there is always a lot of room for accommodation along with improvisation in all tribal Airways….the bottom line is you will get a seat!

If only all things in life can be like the tribal way. All our problems will disappear very quickly….only judging by the number of shocked expressions in the crowd. I have a feeling I would not be invited for any talks in future…maybe they should fashion an effigy of me….to cure what I wonder.

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