The woman who jumped off the ledge

June 26, 2017

When the man turned around and looked at Miss D. She was lost for words. Dumb struck by the sudden realisation how crumbly some things one just believes will never happen….not to her. To others maybe. But never her.

Till this moment in her life. Miss D had always taken faith and comfort in the infallibility of her knowledge that the invisible lines of serendipity and chance could never intercept sufficiently to alter the course of her destiny.

She always believed it only happened to others…but never her. It may come close like the time when everyone told her the friendly neighbourhood postman never appeared any longer as he had retired promptly after the magic numbers he had chosen lined up to eventually win the national lottery. Or the time when one of her friends colleague boarded a doomed plane only to perish suddenly in a mid air crash – but by and large these kinks of chance were distant abstractions to Miss D who only knew them as distant and faraway abberations in time and space that only afflicted others and never her and now one by one, they were all beginning to happen to her.

She wanted to say something…anything… like maybe….I wasn’t really following you. I am just going the same way. But the lingering taste of what had just happened was still in her mouth, and at that moment she understood that she could not deny it – all of a sudden, without the slightest flicker of a doubt, she understood how her own sense of despair must have suddenly become so great, so crushing, so catastrophic, that she had no choice but to seek some means to be liberated from it.

As since nothing would have ever happened if left to it’s own and even if it did, it was solely a random outcome where their lives seem to veer abruptly from one thing to yet another, to rub up against another thing only to be bumped off somewhere else. Nothing really happened.

A person heads in one direction. Another heads in the opposite direction. One turns sharply in mid-course, the other stalls, drifts, starts up again in yet another direction. Nothing ever comes to fruition, and inevitably each comes back to where they once started from only for the whole cycle to begin again.

But that fateful day when the woman stepped off the train and followed the man who didn’t fit in…she had set into motion a chain of events that could only culminate in this outcome of certainty ….as she wanted it make it happen. She no longer wanted to watch it slip right by for it to bounce here and there like some ivory ball on some roulette wheel of fate where they would both chance on each other again like two stray cats turning the same corner only for one of them to give the other that look of OMG! It’s you again! And to walk away again.

After all there had to be a bloody good reason why they kept bumping into each other all the time…Singapore is small, but it’s not that fucking tiny she screamed somewhere in her head.

Above all she had grown weary of existing solely for herself, living vicariously thru the imaged hopes and dreams and lives of fictitious characters that only came thru the imagined realm of sappy novels and late nights crunched over the computer watching Korean serials. She yearned for much more than just a glimmer what it could be, but since it never happened to her…she had to make it happen. So she jumped off the ledge and then, at the very last moment, it all happened….something reached out and caught her in midair. That something is what she knew only to be love. It is the only power that could defy the Newtonian laws of physics and stop one from falling back to earth. It could have been nothing except the power of love.

That was when it came out….’you know we keep bumping into each other all the time. There are some days when I even know I will see you. I just don’t mean I will see you here or there. But I mean I know that if I step into that train…you will be there. That sort of thing. I just think that maybe we should try to discover why that should be….that’s why I followed you. I am sorry I just need to know where this all leads too….this is my card. Please call me.’

Thereafter she promptly walked away only to stop mid way raise a finger to add,

‘I know what you’re thinking, but I want to make it absolutely clear that I don’t go around doing this sort of thing. Infact this is the first time.’

The man smiled and replied, ‘Thank you I find that most reassuring.’

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