Learning to bullet proof yourself from shame

Shame is a very powerful psychological weapon because shame makes us feel bad about who we really are. When someone or a group of people deploys this psychological crowbar on you….you must first understand how this weapons works BEFORE it is possible to render it harmless and benign.

The way shame works is to get YOU and not someone else to destroy yourself by first creating a conspiracy against yourself….that’s how it works…it has to first recruit you!

YOU are the one who flips this mechanism of self destruction on. Not those who are trying to shame you.

Once you sign into the conspiracy of self. You will begin to doubt the very core of who you are…where you’re heading…and how you are going about it…then it will all begin to unravel slowly…first you will start to question your identity and values. Then you will begin to doubt your very existence and your self-esteem will take a nose dive and soon your emotional well-being will begin to degrade.

It will degrade to such a point of failure where you will even begin to doubt the quality of your decision making and much prefer to sit in the dark and do absolutely nothing….because since you feel shameful….deep down you feel that you have done something terribly wrong and it is only right that you beat yourself up again and again.

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‘The reason why I know how toxic and destructive shame can be….is simply because I’ve always had to live with it all thru my life. Since I was different from all other boys in the moment of my youth. It was not unusual for adults and teachers to instigate my peers to shame me into conforming. As a boy no one wanted to play with me. So I made friends with animals. I am by nature a gentle soul and since all animals have a keen sense of danger…they can see deep into my soul to know that I mean them no harm and so they take readily to me.

Many people have tried to shame me….they try to shame me into thinking and behaving like them. They try to shame me so that I will always be more subservient to them in order to control me. They even try to shame me when they realise that I am getting up in the world and becoming much more successful than them.

So all thru my life I’ve had to study shame in the way a commando takes apart an anti personnel mine to further understand how this device works. When one is autistic. One has to study the art of war from the inside out. One has no choice. Once one understands how the psychological weapon of shame works….then it’s almost impossible for anyone to shame you…it’s impossible.

Simply because no one on this planet can take away what is in between my head. I am the master of my own inner and outer reality. I can do many great things! That many other ‘normal’ me will simply make one thousand excuses why they are unwilling to even try. Truth is if these people try to even do a fraction of my job for so much as one day…the sheer scale and complexity of the undertaking will be so overwhelming by lunch time they would probably be shitting in their pants from a nervous breakdown! They will literally die standing! Because farming is tough as tungsten nails….I just make it look easy peasy.

So I know myself….and that is the anecdote against the psychology weapon of shame.

Not long ago I came across a village girl wandering my lands. She was crying her eyes out. She is not very pretty and has unusually large feet that the other girls like to make fun of. When I asked what was wrong. The girl told me that she wants to go to city to work, save up money and fly to Korea and get her feet reduced down to right size like all other girls.

I told her in a fatherly tone do not fret. I pointed to my car. Look I told her, my tires are big and knobby….I can go anywhere with those beauties….even if there is no road…with those big tires I will cut a path….it is the same with your feet. I bet you don’t have a problem lugging up a 50 kg bag of fertilizer uphill…see you can’t do that if you have slim and dainty feet that just look good but good for very little else. Besides all those girls with slim feet can’t walk long distances. They can’t shoot without losing their balance as they don’t nearly have the steadiness to keep balanced. They can’t even pull me out if I am neck deep in quicksand. Now what bloody use is that if you can’t even do that!

That was when the girl turned to me and asked, do you really mean that? I said please show me your beautiful feet. The girl began to take off her large shoes at first she curled them up to make them look smaller.

Then after looking at them I expressed…one day you will find a man. A real man, not a bullshit man. A man who knows the true value of things and he will look at your feet as an object of great and rare beauty and all those people who are trying to shame you will be so jealous because such a man. A man who can see real value and beauty when all others can only see ugliness is usually a prudent investor who is very rich…and when that time comes all those stupid people who are trying to shame you will be so jealous they will hold hands and jump into the river….that day will certainly come.

From that day onwards the girl with the biggest feet in the village walked proudly out into the world never ever knowing shame.’