Maturity in relationships

I always share with those who seek my advice as to what sort of man or woman they should look for – in every case, I tell it as such.

If you have only the emotionally maturity of a twelve year old. Then seek out either a mature man or woman and let this person take the lead in your life…be his or her disciple. Let us not talk about equality. As how can an immature mind stand at parity with a mature mind.

Because if an immature person seeks union with another immature soul – there can really only be a celebration of immaturity. Things may start off with a bang at first, but as time goes on since the relationship is not nourished with maturity it can only lead to suffering.

This is the Dao. The way of the farmer.

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‘When we ask ourselves what is maturity. It has nothing whatsoever to do with age or having lived X or Y number of years on this planet. Age by itself does not have the capacity to impart maturity anymore than living in a cave necessarily makes you a geologist. That is why if you care to look around there are so many old people who are still behaving like twelve year olds….so there is much more to maturity than meets the eyes.

Maturity simply means one understands the nature of things for what they really are and not what others say or claim it is….to do just this alone requires courage, maturity and intelligence. As this means going against the grain – specifically how the world usually makes sense of organisational and personal success. This is usually the hardest thing for one to do…to simply say to the world that’s way not mine…no thank you…you go your way…I will go mine…that is why when you come before a mature soul.

He is usually not of this world….there is always an off set detached feel about him that suggest he is very much in his own trajectory, pace and rhythm that is completely out of synch with the world. Often this is interpreted as dysfunctionality, but nothing can be further from the truth…it is simply a very perosnalised way of seeing oneself alongside the world.

It is for this reason that mature people will always go into the essence of things and people…they are not easily seduced by what usually appeals to most people. A mature person for instance will still love you the same even should you look like an old dried up prune as he saw it all in the very moment of your youth….that is to say within the idea of maturity is the implicit acceptance nothing is ever what it is…everything changes, that is not necessarily bad, it is just what life is all about and it’s constant process of one thing bowing out and another coming in that gives life depth, complexity and meaning…what I am about to say may disappoint you terribly. But a mature person doesn’t need anything from you. He will not take. As he already has everything that he needs in life…it’s all to be found in the receptable of himself. So there is need to control. No need to possess, covet or even own….only perhaps the act of appreciation for the moment lived and experienced. But what most people cannot come to terms with is the idea that a truly mature person will always be alone….he will be alone even when he is with you…as that is the default nature of people who always look within themselves for nourishment, strength and wisdom….do not feel disappointed or even worthless as what I say is simply something that is and will always be with matured souls.

I wish well. I knew this day would come…I saw it all in my minds eye.’