Five reasons why a parrot should be the deputy PM of Singapore

January 6, 2018

(1) Cheap to maintain, will even work for just sunflower seeds.

(2) Guaranteed no drama. As since the parrot lives in a cage, there is no house to fight over.

(3) non elitist….can even be called bird brain without suing people or shutting blogs for imaginary reasons.

(4) Parrots can parrot the party line very well that what they have to say can never be taken out of context. If for some reason they are taken out of context, the blame can always be put on a human.

(5) If the problem gets too big parrot can always fly away and hide in botanical gardens.


‘In the kampung, it is not unusual for the villagers to seek the wisdom of the man who stays on the hill from time to time. This is the way politics is conducted in a community where superstition is rife…he is after all the man who can see into that unmentionable otherside. After all the weather has been very erratic lately. Even the trees are confused. And yesterday we had such a big flood that even I was nearly swept off the road by a flash flood.

Whenever important decisions have to be made in the kampung. I will usually defer it to the wisdom of magic parrot. This is how it works. The magic parrot is a pet that belongs to the village barber. He will usually be summoned early in the morning to put the cage on a table that is set underneath a sprawling shade of the tree….splayed out neatly before the parrot will be a semi circle of tarot like cards. They are 27 in number representing the entire Indian cosmic system. Each card contains the image of a Hindu deity and some cards contain images of Buddha, Mahanaha or Virgin Mary with Infant Jesus. When the crowd has swelled to a respectable size, I will open the cage with great ceremony…the parrot will stroll out, eat a few kacang puteh (nuts) and usually picks the seventh card…it always picks the seventh card. In the event it picks another card. Usually I secret the card that I want to display to the crowd under my sleeves.

I find this is the best way to make controversial decisions without having ever to stick my neck out, since whatever answers the tarot cards produce contain so much ambiguity that it can be interpreted either way….the answers are never a straightforward yes or no and even if they appear to be so, it is usually closer to a perhaps and maybe….to understand why this is so. One must first gain an intimacy into how culture and civilization plays a role in modulating human understanding.

For example, the western understanding of philosophy is entirely causal, that’s to say it’s a very technical process that hinges on a rationale premised entirely on the laws of cause and effect very much in the way one may read a technical manual of a washing machine to gain knowledge on how to operate it.

The Taoist view on the other hand is essentially metaphysical, that is to say everything can be reduced into a construct of either the human body or its larger kin…the family where the goal is to strive for balance between the forces of heaven and earth. Heaven does not refer to a deity. Rather it is reference to a universal force that encapsulates two distinct opposites to create the idea of wholeness.

As for the Indian way of seeing the world….the traditional lens is the Indian epics…the Ramayana and Mahabharata. This is how Indian philosophy sees the dynamics of politics and power in the continuum of life…not as a series of networked laws and strictures that hold everything together like a steel bridge. Or the holistic idea where life is a microcosm of the human body in the way the Chinese see the world.

Rather in this collage of colourful characters where life is seen as a dramatic unfolding story…there is no actual beginning or end. No such thing as even a conclusion. An intermission perhaps, but end certainly not…and it is this aspect that gives the narrator tremendous powers of improvisation to tell the story.

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