CNY rising – part 3

January 28, 2018

Writing this is a sort of journal, and soon it dawns on one, one doesn’t need a lot of prompting to realize one is desperately short in life. All I have to do to reacquaint myself with my shortcomings is to read what I’d written in the journal the day, week or month before.

Its composition is deliberately couched in scholarly ruminations, noenetheless there is enough self enfacing hypocrisy, pomposity and immaturity to sink a decent sized shit laden barge.

Reading it fulfills the essential function of supplying me with the necessary motivation to change myself…maybe I want to come across as less autistic…idiotic….immature. I don’t quite know what’s really behind my motivation to change myself.

In my private moments. When I am all alone. I often look back on my life and it never ceases to marvel how someone like myself managed to bullshit his way thru life…..so much of it has been made up by my ego. So much of it is self aggrandizing…it’s opulence is grostesque….bling…comes to mind.

I am a very bling person!

Bling is the height of vapiness…it’s the opposite of careful…studied….measured and precise doses of elegance. Less is definitely more when it comes to the trying convey the diametric opposite of blingness.

But how would one go about classifying someone who is actually bling, but doesn’t come across as crass and rough around the edges…instead he excudes quiet sophistication…culture and a polished nature.

How?’

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