The Man who is the Cocoa Planter of Gabundi Estate

I know that I’ve always depicted as cruel and heartless. But he was not like that. Perhaps I needed to see him as some dark and malevolent force as I needed a justification…..to get rid of him. Writing this now. It sounds preposterous. The very idea that one can be envious of a being that resides within me and to all intends and purpose…is me. As I am him.

But we were always different. He always looked at me understandingly – much more understandingly than I could be counted to look his way. It wasn’t just simple understanding. Rather there was depth his capacity to understanding. A quality of sympatico that if you were really lucky. Even you would get to experience at least a couple of times in your lifetime. You know the type of understanding where you find yourself with car trouble on a desolate stretch of dark lonely road and all you want to do is get back home, run a hot shower and hit the sack…and suddenly he shows us and gives you that clean cut boyish look of absolute assurance that’s good to last a whole year without batteries….looks under the hood and next thing you know its running. The sort of understanding where as you drive away reluctantly only because you wished you had stretched your neck a bit further to ask him for his number as he seems nice enough to bring back home to meet your mom and dad, he’s right there waving at you and you know that every cell in his body believes without shadow of doubt that you will do the same. When you know darn well…you will just drive right on with hardly a care in the world.

Like I said, he had this uncanny ability to convey perfect understanding – he understood you just exactly the way you have always longed for another to understand you….considerately without once registering the bad or ugly. Only the good in you really mattered in his puppy world view of understanding. He even believed in you so much so that you found yourself having second thoughts about who you really were only to suddenly rediscover yourself thru his eyes…as someone incomparable, noble and exceptionally special.

Now you understand why I hated him…