I grew those mushrooms myself. I fed it to the dogs to see whether it was OK…since none of them died. I am cooking it for myself today.

It’s usually possible just to avoid people who bring out the worst in YOU. However, at some point one may have to work with them. That may seem tough, but it is possible to work with anyone if you just make it a point not to get personal.


‘I think its quite hard not to get personal. Especially if you have a beef with that person. Or if they just keep pressing all your hot buttons.

But you have to remember the seventh and eight rule and possibly even the ninth of Moscow rules.

If you allow your anger or negative emotions to leak out. All you will be doing is prealerting the opposition. All you will be doing is mortgaging away the vital element of surprise…..and without surprise it is very very hard to score a decisive win!

Anwar the politician who was once incarcerated by Mahathir is a man of remarkable self discipline. As he is the only politician I know of who can successfully suppress the sheer gravity of emotions and still work with Mahathir.

Not even Mahathir can do this for one day…he would just explode like a hand grenade.

Not many man in this planet can do that.

But Anwar can and he can do it with the reliability and dependability of a swiss movement.

For some lesser men a few eggs (not even rotten ones) is enough to get them all fired up….sunny side up lah!


‘If you go back to the archives of my blog. You will notice that when everyone dismissed Anwar as a spent candle when he was languishing and virtually forgotten in jail. I was the only one in blogosphere who stood up and shouted out – you mothers better watch him! And watch him close at that. Never fuck with a man who has spent time behind bars.

That is because jail is the one missing chapter that they should rightly teach every aspiring leader from Cambridge to Harvard. But since they dont bother….many ‘leaders’ miss out on the arcanum of jail time. That is why these easy street leaders are all allergic to eggs. Show them an egg and they will demand a steel helmet. Show them two and they will demand for an armored car just to pop down to seven eleven for a slurpee…the reason for this is because these easy street leaders have never ever done jail time before!

But for real leaders….jail time is the mother of all knowledge* So much so that it is not a coincidence in my opinion that every leader who has stewarded a turning point in their countries history has spend time in jail….Gandhi to Mandela to virtually every leader. So naturally this has prompted me to ask – what is it that is so powerful in jail that they have learnt? Is it like the freemasons or maybe there is like a mythical yoda character that hides in jail.

I have spent many many years thinking about this. And the only thing I can discover is loneliness – because jail must be a very solitary place where at some point the prisoner has to turn inwards and confront himself and it is this aspect that makes him very strong, disciplined and a force to be reckoned with….as when a man comes before such a powerful thing as his inner self…then they can never sweat the small stuff. That is for very small and petty men. As the job of real leaders is keep their eyes firmly fixed on the big picture.’

* Few years back ago. A group of men in sombre suits sought me out. One of them seems to be a follower of my blog. Maybe I should say worshipper. As his manner towards me came across as overtly and toe curlingly defferential. Anyway to cut to chase – they all thought that i could fortell the future of Thai politics. So when they asked the question – will Yingluck be able to win the coming elections? I said it is statistically impossible for her not to win a landslide victory. They all seemed relieved. But there was an elderly man amongst this group and he could see more things than the others…there was a knowingness in his eyes. So he asked will Yingluck be able to unify the country. I said no and the reasons I gave was this – the Shinawatra’s suffer from a morbid allergy of jail. So Yingluck should not waste her time in politics. She should instead devote all her waking hours to publishing a thai cookery book. I went on and on about how difficult it was to get a decent thai recipe to produce tom yam kun. By this time everyone on the table was fumming mad except this elderly gentlemen who radiated an unusual calmness as if he had been informed of my autism. I have to say the Thai’s are different from Singaporeans. By virtue of their Buddhist heritage, they believe an autistic person might be able to see into the future like some mythical oracle, so in this spirit this elderly gentlemen pressed on and asked – why do you say that she needs to spend time in jail wise one? I turned to this one person and told him – because she’s dealing with first class gangsters. They’re first class because they even have uniforms, badges and credentials from the palace….and to win with first gangsters one must not be afraid of jail. That is the key to power. The jail must just be like a summer home or resort or yacht, but since the Shinawatra’s have no love for the place called the jail. They can never hold on the reins of power in Thailand. They are cursed to wonder why it is so near yet so far for the eternity.

The sound from my auxillary fan belt was sounding rather loud and ratty. When I examined with a torch. I noticed, it had started to develop micro cracks. Presumably due to the frequent cycle of wet and dry and very hot driving conditions in the plantations.

While removing the radiator. The mechanics noticed the radiator manifold had developed a hairline crack…..came in just to replace a fan belt, now it seems i may have to replace the entire radiator manifold and possibly the electric fan impeller as well.

Still in the work shop will let you know how it turns out.

After installing the new fan belt. It runs wel. Everything has to aligned a couple of times. But finally it is trued. It runs now with no vibrations.

This is the new manifold beside the old radiator manifold.

This is the old fan belt that was replaced. It looks very worn with deep crevices.

I am very lucky to catch this on time.

Just make sure its not rotten…eggs are always welcome by me and my egg loving Doberman.


Q: Excuse me in the name of national interest, security and the future of Singapore and all Singaporeans including chickens. We would all like to know what kind of egg you want to throw? Is it century egg, easter chocolate egg, kinder joy egg, turtle killing plastic egg with toy, rubber egg….what kinda egg?

A: Sunny side up lah.

My sardine spaghetti…

It has alot of garlic cut into quite big chunks, a tray of white mushrooms that I sweat out over a very low flame, a glass of white wine reduced, some black deseeded olives and chickpeas (left overs), a cassette of sardines in olive oil and finished off with very high quality Parmesan cheese grated.

At the rate. The value of oil palm has been hollowed out by the free falling price due to the recent EU embargo…it will be a worthless commodity very soon.

This will not protend well for the new Pakatan Harapan government. As oil palm revenues has surpassed petroleum based revenue as a key pillar in the national economic growth policy of Malaysia.

With oil palm crashing and burning….millions or Malaysians in the rural districts will be negatively affected. All these can only translate into mass discontent on a historical scale that has never ever been witnessed before.

So this is my prognosis. Write it down, seal it and post it to yourself in three and half years – PAKATAN HARAPAN WAS KILLED BY THE FALLING PRICE OF OIL PALM!


‘Malaysian policymakers are powerless to do anything to reverse the EU moratarium to ban oil palm. Truth of the matter is the EU has to protect their own farming attributions especially the Americans.

For the last twenty years. Oil palm has been slowly and surely displacing rape seed oil, corn and soya oil. The players here are very powerful. So it is very unlikely that Malaysia can some how pull a rabbit from the hat to save the day.

The only country in the world that can some how shore up oil palm demand and insulate it from being considered the pariah of oil is China.

So we are likely to see renewed interest of OBOR by Malaysian politicians very soon.’

Before you grab your cape and tin hat to save people and planet from the evil oil palm barons….spare a moment to listen to this excellent reportage on how the world got addicted to palm oil.

Remember….knowledge is power.

And you only get the best here!



‘Has oil palm cultivation gone over the top and beyond? Yes! When one considers every ten minutes the size of one football field is cleared somewhere in this world just to plant oil palm. Then it would be foolhardy to defend the indefensible. Has this unmitigated cultivation of oil palm resulted in grief to people and planet? Yes, not only people and planet, but also to the countless animals who have historically lived in peace and harmony with the ecology. When one can walk dead North, east or south or any bloody direction and see nothing except neat rows of oil palm – then it is hard to deny that something is simply not right with this picture.

Like I said…I will never defend the indefensible…the axe will come down and by the looks of it, it will be hard smashing at it! The Europeans will never reverse their decision. As for the Americans, their farmers literally own Congress. So that’s as good as cut and dried.

I have no regrets. It was a decent innings. I had a good run for ten straight years. It was the sweetest ten years than any man worth his salt could ever ask for from the trilogy of Goddesses of providence, benevolence and forebearance.

I have a confession to make. I knew this day of reckoning would come. I knew the powers that be would one day put an end to this circus and line people up against the wall and settle their scores. But you dont understand, those ten years were like running with the wolves in the full glare of the indigo moon. They weren’t your normal run of the mill ten passing years….they were years where a man if he was prepared to take risk, wake up at the crack of dawn, put in twelve straight hours a day could make so much money that he was unlike the conquisatodor of lore.

And now that the curtain will come crashing down…matters little to me.

As for me. I can plant coffee. Or maybe banana and if I can some how reach detente with the nation of the monkeys…coconuts maybe in fifty percent of my land holdings. The rest I will settle for coffee. Coming to think of it….I can plant anything in the world providing it has roots and knows how to give back at least ten times what I once gave it.

I am after the best farmer in the world….or maybe I just have to believe that.’

I dont think it goes any where meaningful if we just talk about self awareness and getting ahead in life casually without spending double or maybe triple the time to talk about HOW should one go about developing a keen sense of self awareness.

Yes. We definitely need to have a session on this subject. I know its a Sunday. I know you all have your fav tees and comfy rubber slippers on back home in Singapore. But please understand, its another working day for me here in the plantation.

Let me finish my work here. Maybe at around tea time I will write something.

(Cont) I will be really frank on this subject of self awareness. Its not an easy thing to develop. Not if you happen to be living in a concrete jungle like Singapore. But over where I am. No one will ever walk in a plantation with ear buds, because its dangerous. You really need all of your senses and acuity. Because a 100 kg wildboar could just be startled and charge right at your kneecaps at sixty miles per hour.

So self awareness in short is not only a survival tool. But you could even say tribal man is hardwired only to go thru life with that sort of outlook. But somewhere in the whole riggmoral of modernisation and the invention of plastic that life skill just dropped off like the tails we all used to have.

But the good news is developing self awareness comes naturally to every man and woman. Neither do you need to buy a yoga mat or sign up for a new age course on mindfulness just to get intune with the whole idea of your personal space.

I think all those things might be helpful but they are optional.

All you have to do to awaken your primal sense of awareness is to make an effort be fully conscious. This is not theory. You can test it out yourself. Now! You can pick up something. Anything. A bowl…ball…sweater anything and just feel it. Only do it this time in such a way where your brain isnt thinking about something you said or did yesterday or the week before. Do it with an attitude where you’re just acutely aware of this object and how it interacts with your finger tips.

Like I said its not theoretical.

I think what you will discover is not something I need to write about.

When someone takes the trouble to invest in the idea of becoming a self-aware person. Then I think it is almost impossible NOT to grow mentally, emotionally and spiritually. This capability in my opinion is the great equilizer in life. Because it means even if you’re not very smart like me. Providing you take the trouble to develop a keen self awareness…you will even get ahead of someone like Einstein in life.

However. If you’re not self-aware or happen to belong to that group who believe this is all bullshit. Then I think it’s going to be up hill to start evolving or developing beyond who they already are. Because there is no mechanism to self audit. As a result, it is very hard for people with no self awareness to get ahead in life. Its like flying blind without even reliable modern instruments to tell you – where you’re heading? At what speed? Where are you now in relation to where you’re headed?

This is not something theoretical. You can see this sort of disorientation for yourself in your family members and friends and colleagues and even institutions like firms and governments. You can see it now! Observe how they will always make the same mistakes again and again and again without the will to correct and adjust or for that matter to improve things…they do all this unthinkingly and the only explanation for this blindness is because they are not self aware…the radar is off or maybe the batteries are have conked out a long time ago..they do this…till of course someone who has the power over their life and destiny says one day, ‘that’s enough!’


‘I am autistic. So self awareness doesnt come naturally to me. Even with the most intense efforts, it will probably never be intuitively part of my elemental being. Thats a sad admission, like saying I am born with carrot fingers so being a concert pianist is definitely out. But hey! That doesnt mean I cant pretend to be self aware by learning more about the subject of self awareness. I can. And I can do this very well. Better than anyone else. For example you can show me a really complicated blue print just once. Maybe a minute and I will have that system in my head…every screw, nut, rivet right down to stuff that even experts dont notice. So I can take the human mind apart like an engine or something that most people would never dare strip to the sum of its parts. I can ask – what does this do? How does it work? What is the relationship between this part and that and how does it all fit in the greater scheme of things?

This I can do better than most people. So I although i am autistic. I can mimic self awareness. Infact I can do this so well that you wouldnt know that I am not naturally inclined to be self aware.

This leads me to my point. The reason why self awareness is key is not because I say so. No! Its because leaders instinctively understand the importance of self awareness when it comes to managing yourself and others…so these days, its not uncommon for them to invite you for dinner with your wife or husband where they will observe details like how do you treat the people who serve you? Are you unnecessarily demanding, imposing or inconsiderate. Do you bulldoze your way to dessert? How do you handle your liquor or does it handle you? Are you sensitive to your partners needs? How is your table manners and ettiqutte?

Of course to the person whose still struggling with his ego. He or she will say this is all a crock of shit. Only understand this! This person will NEVER get that foreign posting. He will NEVER be promoted! Infact he is doomed to be a bottom feeder all his life and worst part is he doesnt even know the big why?

So dont come here and tell me this is not important.’


March 23, 2019

This disappeared for many years, but its back again. Its a piece that relies on musical prowess and not the razzmataz of instrumentation and effects…

Boeing – Tiger Lounge

March 23, 2019

Many many eons ago. In another galaxy perhaps. Long before the dark period when Boeing was seduced by the darkside of the profit motive. They actually prioritize the traveller and even went to extraordinary lenghts to make air travel memorable.

Located in the nose section of the 747 jet. There was an odd space that Boeing engineers envisioned to be a common galley where people could just hang loose. It was called the tiger lounge.

Many of the life philosophies I gathered came to me when I am alone in my plantation. Usually these insights came to me when I am all alone. No one actually told me about all these things. If they are concurrent, then it is a common insight…that is all I can say.

But always remember although an insight is just a vantage or perspective of seeing a thing. It is still a remarkable tool to facilitate transformational revolution to improve mental, physical and spiritual well being. Because the beauty about insight is nothing actually changes in the world outside you. The change actually occurs within you!

So if I share with you an insight like most people live in their self style narrative of what they think or believe others think or believe about them. You will begin to trace out the outline of this insightful observation from your family members and friends….you will see it all unfolding before you.

Only remember it is all happening inside and not outside..the outside world is still very much the same and unchanged.


‘The most powerful tool in this world is insight. Because nothing actually changes, alters or transforms in the world. What goes thru a change is how one goes about interpreting events and making sense of things.’

Where are you actually?

March 23, 2019

When your mind does not function in the way it was meant to function. Then depending on whether you call a spade a spade or something else….but in my book, this has to be sort of slavery. Only because someone else besides you is controlling what’s happening in your mind. If somebody else decides what should happen in and around you. Then. Maybe its time to ask – where are you actually?


‘People who have power over themselves and others. Never look externally for anything….they dont need someone else’s approval, validation or even adoration….if it comes, it comes. But if it doesn’t, it wouldnt be sorely felt either. Many wrongly surmise this is arrogance or a form of self deception. But it is not!

What is arrogance and self deception actually is when you believe it is possible to construct such a complex thing as character by cannibalizing bits and pieces from other people, except yourself!’

If you ask a tree….

March 21, 2019

Whether it is happy to provide shade and comfort to so many souls on a hot sweltering day. The tree if it can talk will probably call you a crazy soul.

As what the tree is doing is just being itself…..a tree….no more or less.


‘No man or woman is put in this world and timeline to nourish human suffering. So when you are in misery, pain and suffering….if you are in the trap of resentment, anger and frustration….do not look at me…do not even look outside you to ask who is causing all this?

Instead look within you for answers. As I have observed the plastic world has indoctrinated and brainwash the masses to always look outside and ascribe blame to others….if it is not the government…it is the elites…if not them, the bloody freemasons…maybe its a global conspiracy involving peguins.

Instead look within you for answers….I am not saying – you should blame yourself! No. I am not saying that. All I will share with you based on my years of living alone is this – like the tree you are born with all the human engineering to respond without having to go thru the hell of misery, pain and suffering.

How you respond can make this life heaven or hell.’

Whenever I come across people who ask me – how do I go about living a happy life?

I always share with them, the secret lies in volunteering to take up more responsibility.

Often these people are surprised by my response…they seem to think I am advocating a life of burden for them….and that is the root cause why these people are never happy.


‘If you observe carefully in Singapore. You will find that no one really wants to get to know their next door neighbor. That is why they’re always rushing like mad in the void deck or pretending to be busy with their smart phones…these people do not mind talking and getting to know other people in other void decks, but they dont ever want to get to know their own neighbors. That is because getting to know more about those who live near to them means taking on added responsibility.

And in Singapore. Responsibility is a four letter word. Because it means never ever having enough time to yourself to do your own time….never being able to relax and just take comfort in being a follower…and always switched on. So the whole idea of responsibility these days is considered very undesirable.

But when you really ask yourself – what is the real meaning of responsibility? It just means can you respond effectively to a situation?

That is why when you look at someone who is prepared to take on more responsibility. Nine out of ten, they’re more confident and emotionally mature that’s because they have mentally conditioned themselves to be very strong, adaptable and capable human beings. And all that can only be very edifying to the human spirit. My advise is promote that person. Give him the power of authority and make sure that you put his name on your must call list – because the chances are…you will need that person.

As for those who make all sorts of clever excuses not to take more responsibility….they are like children. And I dont want to say anything that is not very nice. So let us just leave it at precisely only that…they are like children and as we all know, children dont ever know themselves.’

I work in an estate….so I speak perfect tamil. You dont presumably, but i’ve found a video where you will understand how to make perfect chapati.

He is always alone….

March 19, 2019

Being alone teaches you how to love yourself and others. This truth may at first come across as counter intuitive to you….but it is only because you are and end product of mental conditioning by the plastic world.

Please understand I am not here to put you down…I am here to just speak the truth!

The plastic world is always afraid of depth….because once you begin to drill deeper…you will discover a big nothing behind the facade. It is like a paper mache Hollywood set…..everything is not real…everything is only at one dimension.

So understand this…if one part of your brain balks at what I have written here….it is not the real you who thinks all these things concerning me and my philosophies.

This is the first lie that you have to deconstruct even BEFORE you can understand anything in this blog….yourself!

Only those who have studied aloneness are capable of true and unconditional love.

Only they can love another without the need to possess or to dominate, without becoming dependent on the other like a crutch, without reducing the other into an experience or object of desire to please and titilate the vapid soul, and most importantly love without being addicted to the other.

Because these souls understand the core of the mental state known as aloneness. They do not need to cannibalize others to make themselves whole and complete. Neither do they demand anything…they are the true givers.


‘When you go thru a resume of a man and you find that there’s a long period where this person has to be alone due to demands of work. My advise to you is take a closer look at this soul. The first thing that you will notice about this person is an unusual clarity about him. It is as if when you talk…there’s only two of you in this world. There are no distractions. Nothing to interfere with the moment. Above all you will notice, this person will want nothing from you….he’s not there to sell you a diet package, insurance or even interest you in a new range of Tupperware….that’s because you can give a complete man nothing…absolutely nothing.

Most people are uncomfortable with this idea, the moment you tell them – you can give me nothing….they take it personally. Some will even get angry and regard it as an insult or an attempt to demean them.

But why?

Do you notice when you tell this same people sweet nothings like – ‘I cannot live without you!’ Suddenly they feel important and loved. Isnt that strange?..this should prompt any sane person to ask – if you are so emotionally fragile that you even need me to complete yourself…then how is it possible for you to truly love me?’

I’ve got this laminated card that I carry in my head…it reads – how do you eat a whale?

I cut it into really small pieces.

Small steps is what I take whenever I have to confront something big and scary.


It’s a lost and lonely kind of feeling. To wake up in the dead of night. To lie there staring into the darkness. At times whenever this happens. I don’t know who I am. Or even where I am.

During these moment. When I suddenly find myself in the tomb of darkness….I am suddenly overwhelmed by the sheer dimensions of my responsibilities. Along with how vulnerable and fragile I am and soon the dreaded feeling of failure or not performing to expectations closes in…they’re like steel walls closing in.

It can be very very scary.

But I take small steps forward in this darkness. Really small. Even though I dont know where I am or where I am going. I’m taking small steps all the time. Feeling my way. Trying to pull myself together so that all of me sticks together like Lego and doesnt come loose.

At times when I take really small steps. My goal so is simple. I just want to make it through the day and not lose any part of myself. That’s to say, I want to be able to turn in with all of myself still there. Not to lose some to hurt or allow someone who I dont care about to steal a bit of me. Seems about the best that I can hope. But I’m taking small steps….really small and tiny steps.’