Things going thru my head.

April 23, 2020

The good thing is that, they didn’t go all the way to kill me. So what they really meant to do was to soften me up with fear.

I am scared. Well they cut my hands bad enough for me to just spend hours lying in darkness mulling over really evil thoughts.

I don’t want to ever go down that dark forlorn neighborhood of hate and revenge.

But I can’t help it. It’s as though I am sucked in and the walls are simply too smooth and slippery to hold on …like maybe the texture inside a shit pot. So I spend hours getting sucked into this tunnel of darkness where I just lie in darkness thinking about things I rather not think abt.

I know…I write slot abt strength and the will to power and all that, but suddenly, it all rings hollow.

Maybe I’ve got high on my own bullshit juice. In the way a two bit drug peddler gets hooked on his own shit… because from where I am lying down in the dark watching my thoughts swing in and out…it certainly looks like shit to me.

2 Responses to “Things going thru my head.”

  1. alienade said

    Hope you are all good and well by now. Sorry to hear this has happened to you. Haven’t been reading the blog for awhile and was astound to hear this. Never knew you personally but from reading the blog on and off for years. You seemed tough. You will get through this! Take care and stay strong.

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