Easy Target

April 13, 2016

Dr LWL is not very beautiful or cute. She also comes across as weird as well…sometimes. And since she not the dangerous type, she comes across as someone who doesn’t have any power to destroy anyone…that is why when she says certain things and sticks to her guns some people come down hard very hard on her. But usually these same cowards will never do the same to those who have power to destroy them.

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‘People are generally nasty to weird people. They take that attitude because it’s socially acceptable to do so. As it is very common for most people to have neither the time or patience to understand weird people.

Since I am a bit weird as well…..I know all this from first hand experience. Fortunately, I am born with big liquid eyes and look very cute, so whenever evil people bully me. Usually it’s not uncommon for strangers to come to my rescue and beat the shit out of them.

Besides, I happen to be rich as well and the funny thing is when you are wealthy – no one ever thinks you are weird even when you are really weird – they rather use words like ‘unique’ ‘one of a kind’ etc etc. The best part of being really rich is no one messes with me these days. As they all know all I need to do to fix them is reach for my phone just like ordering pizza. Neither can they ignore me and give me the silent treatment, not at the terrible cost of hurting their business opportunity and bank balance. That’s how I get by in this world. That’s how I stay in one piece.

However for the vast majority of weird people out there ….they don’t nearly have the life skills I have picked up along the way.

That is precisely why as a society who is genuinely committed to make the world a better place – we ALWAYS have to make the extra effort to offer these category of people protection against malevolent forces.

As usually these special people have uncommon honesty and insight…that’s natures way of compensating them for their weirdness – what she takes with one hand she gives back with another – so although they may rub some people the wrong way, the important thing is they are usually well intentioned and without malice. To me these are rare, admirable and valuable qualities that we must always protect. When we do this….we give ourselves and others the permission to speak the truth without fear or favor.’

Other monkeys will look. Then they will also do as well….who then stops them?

Do you see the problem when ‘leaders’ don’t behave like leaders.

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‘Dr LWL certainly has a valid point of view. So does her elder brother. He also has a valid point of view as well.

But what does one hope to do by taking this spat into the public domain? What might these people be trying to prove?

It’s after all a private family matter that should be settled behind closed doors.

After all, who benefits from all this when it’s played out so publicly a la pasar malam style? I don’t mind telling you all, looking at this is not only embarrassing, but it also makes my toe curl inwards as well for some inexplicable reason….so the short answer is no one stands to gain from this circus show. In fact all this only makes ordinary people lose confidence in ‘leaders,’ as they don’t seem to be like leaders at all. To me it’s very scary when people who manage billions decide to send out pics of monkeys making rude gestures….I question their judgement, discipline and methods….and that I imagine is what most people would probably do as well….if you don’t, then you’re probably a monkey.’

As much as ‘the powers that be’ want to put across their points to other ‘powers that be’ – I think it is only appropriate that they do so in such a manner where others will not say….why when I do it…I kena sue….but why is it, when you do it, it’s just another day in paradise?

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‘Leadership is really only about bringing out the best in others. And a large part of that involves being the bigger person and not going down to the level of the street urchin who is prepared to do anything to score a point….so if people cannot tahan (show restraint), then it simply reflects their immaturity and their general lack to manage themselves and others effectively.

Anyway…let’s look at the bright side. At least now if I send a pic of my painted bum to the powers that be. I can always claim it’s a mistake….monkey see, monkey do wot!

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Of course lah by forgetting them!…. if we keep looking at the rear mirror all the time, then it’s very likely that we will drive over a cliff or bang into something ahead of us.

Smart people always empty their bin in their heads, above all they keep things in the right scale and perspective.

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‘Sometimes I wished I had that nifty device that I once saw in that movie, men in black – it’s like a pen with a flash that once you’re zapped with….you forget everything! It’s like a pressing the Ctrl, Alt and delete keys in your head.

That I believe is what most people need to consider signing up for instead of what’s currently served up fast and furious by the nation destroying press and some politician who only seem intent on prying brains so that more propaganda can be pumped in.

After all, if people genuinely want to be independent, empowered and confident – they should UNLEARN and if possible even be FORGETFUL.

That at least is how I see the whole idea of mentorship – I mean if all that a person can do is keep repeating like a 5 cent parrot what this guy once said or what he would have done under X or Y circumstances – then where is the sense of personal ownership?

I think that’s the clearest demonstration of an abject failure to pass on something meaningful to others i.e the ability to think and act independently. After all, if the seed was planted well, then it would never be, he said this or would have done that! Rather it would be ‘I’ or ‘we’ will do this and that – the difference is subtle, but it makes a world of difference. The former is blind dependence and rote learning, the latter is internalizing the ethos and approach of others till it becomes yours to call your very own.

If we don’t empower people and give them confidence in themselves instead of relying on some man made effigy of God, then there is a real danger, society will never be able to reinvent itself under it’s own terms to the many new challenges of our age and we are likely to go round and round like a donkey turning on a millet wheel…..and that I feel is the problem right now…too many donkeys going round and round mindlessly…..Dowan lah!’

By now we all know how the narrative of the circus show will pan out. Oh dear! It’s burning again. People are mobilized. Politicians hurl polemics, more should be done! The Indonesians respond in the same manner with ridiculous statements. Meanwhile everyone goes around wearing gas mask.

It’s the same shit, different day story….Same old old lah.

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‘Nothing can be done about the haze, simply because very little to nothing has been done to mitigate the perennial haze at a meaningful level. Since the problem is lies a systematic level as many of the oil palm concessions should NOT have been gazetted for clearing in the first place as they run along peat veins – once these subterranean veins ignite, it’s quite impossible to extinguish them. What is sorely needed is a network of inter connected canals and water locks that cross cross the fire prone plantations. Without this, it’s quite pointless to talk about water bombing planes and fire fighters to tackle this problem, that’s like trying to bring down an elephant with a peashooter.

Above all what is sorely needed is a dedicated team of frontier men who are embedded in Indonesia to work alongside these plantation owners to build these network of fire prevention canals….it’s fair to say without all these assets on the ground. We don’t need spy satellites with flir and spectral imaging to tell us what will happen or who is or is not burning – that to me has no intrinsic value. The resolve needed to solve this perennial problem that I believe we can only expect with increasing frequency and ferocity due to global warming is simply frontier men who may ask, ‘how many of kilometers of canals did we build today?’

Without this hardy breed of men at ground level who are able to endure hardships and prosecute seriously on this agenda 365 days a year! We don’t have a chance in hell to nail the four corners of this menace. That in a nut is how I see it. As let me speak plainly, we face an acute shortage of frontier men in Singapore. We have plenty of men who are terminally addicted to air con and the flabby good life, but none who can do all this. Most who can do all this have already packed up and left Singapore for good and it’s unlikely they will ever return again. Hence the DNA that once made possible the idea of the superman is no longer available in Singapore to support the formation of a new cohort! As in Singapore the very idea of the frontier man is seldom given the either the nourishment or encouragement to grow. Many Singaporeans view the frontier man as an imperialist. A post modernist neo colonist, who is no better than a conquisatdor. Therefore this breed of men have been shamed as their way of life along with ethos is often perceived to be unfashionable and filled with so many hardships that many much prefer to stay within their comfort zone in Singapore. Rather than going out to discover their El Derado.

If I had a fleet of lorries and excavators and only ten frontier men in bicycles who are able to cover a footprint of 500 square kilometers….and a presidential decree to do what I deem necessary to mitigate burning…all our problems will disappear like lemon drops. Of that I have never been in doubt!

So all we can really expect is more of the same burn baby, baby burn….that to me is none other than the mathematics of reality! i.e it is what it is!

As you can all see, I harbor no illusions as to how we may prescribe a solution to this problem.’

Clothes do not maketh a man anymore than living in a cave makes one a geologist – that’s obvious. Only one should always strive genuinely to come across as a top drawer gentleman.

By this I don’t mean you have to splurge out on cancer of the wallet branded goods. If that repertoire is within your means and money is no object…go ahead.

But if like me, you much prefer to be modest on your spending – then I think a gentlemen should get up to speed on how to dress well to make a first class impression. Your ensemble need not be the best or even the most expensive, but they should be neat, clean, sensibly put together to always convey to others…you have a deep respect and courtesy and appreciation for the people and institutions that supports you…by taking the trouble to do, it is the clearest demonstration – you have a deepest respect for yourself and others.

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‘If you want to express your individuality and show up for a once in lifetime make or break meeting wearing a crumpled suit over a t-shirt and sporting running shoes….then I say, you better have the people sitting on the other side of the conference table know. You have a nett worth of one hundred million, a private jet and own an island somewhere in the Bahamas. Then you can even go around in a gunny sack and no one would care two hoots!

But if like me, you’re just trying to turn the wheel of life and better your lot….then you simply have to make an effort to meet the expectations of others, fit in and don’t stress others out or test their patience.

Understand this! No one owes you a living in this world! No one even owes you such a thing as the time and effort to understand your life philosophy and what you might stand for – I know you think they SHOULD, but they don’t!

So don’t stress people out! Be easy on their eyes, dress in such a way where you genuinely make others feel comfortable and at ease with your abilities and competence and where possible try to make a first class impression on others.

I once canceled a flight. As when I saw how shabbily dressed the Captain was….he just didn’t inspire one molecule of confidence. His shirt was crumpled, he looked unkempt as if he was sleep deprived and his shoes looked as they had just walked around the world.

I can’t trust my life to someone who doesn’t even respect himself and others!

Get it?

A cabbie once complained to me. He keeps having to change taxis every six months, as for some inexplicable reason his customers always complain about lousy service….I told this cabbie quite plainly, look at how you are dressed! You’re wearing a funny shirt that just looks two percentile points slightly better than curtains and you’re a right mess with your up turned loafers. I recommended this cabbie to spiff up his work ensemble by wearing a white shirt, dark colored pants, a tie and polished shoes. Since then all complaints stopped! Intact, he gets so much positive feedback that he was nominated as a model taxi driver for three consecutive years running!

This simply underscores the importance of creating the right mood to inspire confidence, respect and trust in others….but it has to first begin with you respecting yourself as the CEO of your own private corporation….yourself!

I am sick and tired of hearing complaints about irresponsible people (we all know who are the ones who regularly let the side down! We all bloody know!) who don’t seem to prioritize the need to create a professional impression! They demonstrate the highest measure of disrespect to others and above all themselves!’

Fashion comes and goes….and if you are stupid enough to play that chase your tail game. All you will end up doing is getting cancer of the wallet, along with creating a big cemetery where clothes go and die.

Style is what you define yourself to be. It’s a personal statement that says many things about who you are and what you stand for along with possibly the type of man you aspire to be.

The latter is very different from the other….

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Signs of rain?

April 2, 2016

Last night it rained. Can’t tell for sure, whether it was a decent rain or just a passing shower….but judging from the ground it’s maybe a one chili rain. Better than none…I guess. At this rate even if the rains do come, it’s probably going to be cumulatively less that what we usually get for April and May.

Come mid May, the dry season will close in again and it will probably be bone dry again till mid August….what a hot and dry 2016…I will be glad to see the back of this year.

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‘I don’t believe. Not for one moment – it’s necessarily healthy or even possible to deny one’s thoughts or what one’s feels whenever things don’t go to plan….do that, and it’s just going to leach out in other ways and the people who love you most usually have to bear the brunt of your unhappiness.

But if you acknowledge the sense of disappointment and loss and even anger, and by this. I mean recognizing these thoughts are part and parcel of what it means to be human….then at least, you have made a genuine effort to confront the contradictions of your feelings, to even make peace with what threatens to eat you up from within along with what you should have done and did not do etc etc….my point is you’ve to make a genuine effort to confront what bothers you and NOT just shut it out of your mind with the silent treatment.

At times when I look back at all the things I’ve planned only to end up being ruled by the unexpected turn of events…all I can really do is laugh out loud to myself.

Especially when I make the effort to tease out the irony along with the black humor in running around like a cartoon character trying to do this and that only to end up where I started from…it’s comical…it’s hilarious and by injecting a sense of humor into the dark – that’s really my own personal way of acknowledging and coming to terms with failure – or maybe, it’s my way of thumbing my nose at something really big and scary by being able to laugh at it even in the prospects of impending doom. After that it’s cut and dried. I move right on. Roll up my sleeves and pick up the pieces and start over again – I guess we all have our own way of dealing with set backs…this just happens to be my way.

You’ve to really learn not to take yourself too serious and to laugh at the many problems the world throws at you. Either that or play hide and seek with your fears while it eats the best part of you up like maggots from deep inside.’

Will Najib & Co Barisan Nasional Coalition Party lose the next GE?

It ALL depends on the price of oil – if within the next two years, the price of crude per barrel stays above the median average of USD$75-$80, it’s very likely BN will win technically – due to a large part to East Malaysia.

If the price of oil dips below the median average of USD$75-$80 / UMNO may hedge it bets to garner enough cross votes to form a government. At some point they would have to seriously consider an alliance with PAS. Or as impossible as it may sound with DAP.

If Najib & Co goes with PAS. Pandora’s box will open – and the whole political, economic, social and cultural framework of Malaysia will be transformed very rapidly thru a process that I choose to describe only as Arabification, especially the Northern states and along the rice belt. The effects will be lasting and irreversible / in the long term the political elite of UMNO will eventually be hollowed out by PAS. As since the later derive their moral authority to govern directly from the mandate of the maker, something will have to give and on the balance of probability – whatever emerges will NEVER be the UMNO we are familiar with prior to the 2018 general elections.

If this happens, Singaporean diplomats and politicians will likely experience a lot of headaches along with uncomfortable spikes in high blood pressure. Short prognosis: no good. Lose / lose.

However if UMNO decides to form an alliance with DAP / curiously the outcome modeled using competitive game theory suggest the payout would be significantly better for BN. BN will be able eat up DAP with plenty of room to spare. The racial vacuum in the form of non existent Chinese votes in the politically anaemic MCA will also be happily revivified. But since DAP and BN have a long history of mistrust, enmity and bad blood – it remains to be seen whether these two political actors can set aside their differences to come and work together.

Should DAP and BN form an alliance – the status quo ante will remain largely intact in Malaysia and all will be well for Singapore.

However the prime determinant that will eventually shape the final outcome of the political landscape in the next general elections will pivot exclusively on the price of oil for the next two years.

Oil is king.

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‘Many things can go very wrong in Malaysia in one blink of an eye these days. That’s because there is a lot of disillusioned and discontented people who are all creating a lot of nervous energy.’

Beautiful people

March 30, 2016

The most beautiful people in this world are those who have known defeat, suffering, struggle, loss, and have found their way out of the depths of depression.

I wish to speak plainly. I am not propagating the cult of suffering….only this is my personal take based on years of living in isolation in the harsh realities of the jungle….the very condition itself compels me to search inwards to many of life’s questions.

As only these people seem to have a genuine sense of appreciation, an uncanny sensitivity, and deep understanding of what life is truly all about.

Above all they are beautiful people as their broad life experience fills them with deep understanding for compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern.

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‘When a man comes to wealth. He would do well not to allow his new found position and prestige to go up to his head like proof alcohol and corrupt his mind…it is very easy for even the most level headed man to be seduced into this mind trap …that is why if you take the time to observe…there seems to be so many delusional people who seem to do very little except mythologize their rise to power, till at some point the man itself disappears as everyone considers him a God…..these people are completely removed from reality and should one be entangled with them, even so much as slightly… you too will be swept along by the tsunami of endless bullshit and smoke and mirrors that can only take you further away from living a truthful life.

When a man comes to wealth…influence and power will follow in it’s wake, instead of being swept away by this heady mix – this man should diligently set upon his next way point in the journey of life – he should proceed to shed his loud, boastful and aggressive ways and strive to be as soft as the petals of a flower. Being gentle and soft is the highest form of mastery over the self….it is in my opinion the most highly evolved way for one to manage oneself and others.

As implicit within this arrangement of personal conduct is one’s recognition – the world and everything that is of it is elementally very fragile….everything if you care to observe is very crumbly and delicate in and of this world…the atmosphere of the planet is nothing more than a wafer thin film….pollute it too much by being callous and disrespectful to nature and soon it will begin to malfunction…this is why we are all experiencing this bout of crazy hot weather…all this is man made!

The same Dao (way) applies to people as well, they are all very delicate and fragile and when one comes to terms with this reality – it is simply an act of recognizing our own capacity to do harm and this insight should motivate us to dedicate all of our intellect to renounce our loud, brash and aggressive ways….and to adopt instead a gentler, soft-spoken, quiet and modest demeanor.

Being gentle doesn’t imply weakness…not at all – when a man is able to cry, it does not mean he is no longer a man or that it somehow subtracts from his manliness…it simply means he has made a life changing connection somewhere between his heart and mind and above all he too recognizes his own fragility and vulnerability as well…such a man is very grounded….very pleasing to all our senses as he is in perfect harmony with the way of the world and our universe.

And this connection is what gives his capacity for gentleness strength. As the discipline to remain gentle and soft usually requires the highest level of effort and cerebral fitness….. This capacity to reflect deeply on things is what enables a man to stay connected to the goal of creating a new improved man…it is the nexus that allows the man who is continuously improving to always remain centered in our own values and strength…..true power is very soft and so very gentle.’

Socially awkward people

March 30, 2016

Most people probably consider me weird….in a cute way, not the scary weird….when I emerge from the jungle into civilization….for the first week at least….I am very weird to others. Coming to think of it…I am very weird to myself as well!

Not a day goes by in the first week when I don’t get at least two or three soulful ladies stopping to ask me whether there is someone I would like to call or just sitting next to me…as they look on with that familiar motherly concern, wondering what a straaaaaaaaaange man.

The first week is usually the hardest…I am always bumping into things…it’s like trying to walk the length of a boat that’s tilting furiously from side to side. I am not accustomed to walking in straight line for miles and miles on perfectly flat pavements….that sort of terrain doesn’t exist in the field – my legs don’t have that sort of city muscle memory – all they seem to be able to do is zig zag walk that’s usually most suited on rough and undulating terrain….so that’s how I usually walk in the city during the first week. I can walk for hours. I can even walk from Boon Lay to Pasir Ris and it wouldn’t be far at all.

It’s not unusual for me to walk so far that when people send me back to my car – they are flabbergasted and ask, ‘did you really walk that far?’

From time to time during the first week in the city, I stop and look at things and at people – I twist my head from side to side like an eagle to try to understand what I am looking at…people around usually get nervous whenever I do this. At times they call the police or a security guard appears and stands besides me….fortunately most of the time, the feeling passes and I move right on.

I don’t expect anyone to ever understand me…I don’t…I never expect anything from others that’s just the way I am….A few days ago. I sat at McDonalds and I couldn’t stop myself from crying….I don’t even know why I did what I did….it just came out that way like how one’s trying so hard to open a stuck can and suddenly it all explodes in a shower of stuff.

You see it was the ice in my cup of lemon tea….it was so very mesmerizing….it’s the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in this world.

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‘I think when one grows up in a world where one is expected to think, walk, talk, do, behave etc etc the same way as everyone else…..when one is different – life can truly only be miserable and hellish.

Sooner or later, the man who is different from all other men learns – the nail that sticks out will always be hammered down!

So eventually, this man learns to be ashamed of who he really is…soon he even regards his difference as an embarrassment like urinating in bed. Give this man more time and he might even believe his difference is an affliction of sorts – a character flaw…that is a pithy summary of how one goes about killing a good very thing!

That is HOW, a man will begin to dismantle the very person he was meant to be ALL in the name of trying to be someone who he’s NEVER meant to be – in perhaps the same way one tears away at a thing till it’s really just the sum of all it’s useless parts…and eventually that man who is different from all other men just turns into yet another robot which resembles other faceless robots in that glob of humanity where everyone is exactly like everyone else.

That is why whenever I see people who are different….I sit quietly beside them and move only very slowly…I don’t say a word and at times it may take days, weeks and even months…but eventually, they all look up and smile…maybe that’s their way of saying. Thank you for appreciating my difference. Thank you for seeing it as a beautiful and not a shameful and ugly thing. Thank you for encouraging me to be who I always want to be.

I guess what I am try to say is we all need to make an effort to be kind and considerate to people who may be different from us…..not just to shut them out of our lives or dismiss them as crazies and deviants just because we don’t either have the intelligence or breadth of experience to wrap our heads around the idea of what are they doing or even how people who are different can contribute and possibly save people and planet…..killing differences by insisting on sameness is not the way to seek out beauty in this world. Yes, often beauty needs to be encouraged, nourished and coaxed out, but when it stands before you…you know it’s worth the effort.

I’ve always wanted to be with the land. Even in the moment of my youth when adults ask me, what do you want to be when you grow up? I will show them a colorful picture of the man from Del Monte that I once tore out from a magazine….most of the time, they manage only a very weak smile followed by….no land how to be farmer?…but I give them the same answer again after they ask me the same question. Usually they get angry with me when I don’t change my answer.

You see sometimes it’s really like that when you are just different….you just have to be intensely proud of your right to be different – to even insist that you’re not hurting anyone, but you have every right as a member of the human species to live your life under your own terms and not just to live it so as to make fulfill the expectations of others…who usually want you to be like everyone else – and where possible hold on very tightly to who you want to be and never ever let go, even if no one wants to talk or play with you.

Not even when they give you strange looks. Not even when mother’s scold their children for mixing with you….that is the first valuable lesson I learnt very early on in life….how to be totally comfortable all by myself…and with that one suddenly realizes one has wings and can fly!…it all begins there and then – that’s the point of inception, when one is able to come to terms with the idea, it’s OK to be different from other people…it’s OK that I or you don’t ever see the point of living our life or chasing after the things most people crave for – that’s just another way of saying, I rather do my own thing and go my own way and I don’t ever expect anything from you…..but it’s hard not to like me these days….as now that I’ve grown up, my manners are really quite impeccable….only never forget, I am most definitely yours truly, always very different!’

Emotional security

March 29, 2016

When we ask the simple question, WHERE should we begin if we genuinely want to make the world a better place? Most people will tell you, this MUST begin by changing this or that…they are always looking outside to change something.

That is understandable.

As I used to have that same belief – to make the world a better place, one must stand taller and not slouch….one has to speak in a forceful tone etc etc.

But these days. I believe otherwise….real and meaningful change can only start from deep within the self…this is what I have learnt from years of living deep in the jungle in total and complete isolation….these days I realize real and meaningful change can only come from a mind that has complete mastery over itself – and such a mind has to be first emotionally very secure….only then can that goodness work itself out from the man into the broader world.

The seed must first be planted in man….

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‘In work, life and play one has to always be on the look out for people who are gentle, soft spoken and extremely comfortable in their own skin…..ideally these people should be your role models and teachers and NOT me…I ONLY heading there (that could well explain why I still write the things I do in this blog),..as experience informs me these are usually the people who have arrived, that is to say from a scale of one to ten…their emotional security is close to a nine or maybe even a perfect ten.

That is why they don’t ever need to show off….they don’t need to prove anything at all to anyone….they are just the way they are…they’re not even seeking for understanding or acceptance from others…it’s as if these people have their own psychological and emotional ecology.

That is understandable. As the pressure to prove oneself is never there when one has arrived…I am NOT talking about happy complacency…rather it’s like the fabled swordsman who can face off against ten warriors and still come out without a scratch…such an accomplished swordsman will NEVER be very enthusiastic about fighting…as he can already see the before, during and after of the outcome in his head….there is no mystery. Nothing to prove to the world even.

ONLY bear in mind, these are also the same people who are very diligent when it comes to investing in their emotional security. The higher a man’s emotional quotient, the calmer he becomes and the more attractive he can only become…and the converse is true as well….again all this is very natural.

We have all seen this time and again – people who don’t ever bother to invest wisely in their emotional security.

I see this in girls all the time – a girl from 18 to 30 always mistakenly believes life can only be like that all the time. One day she looks at herself in the mirror and suddenly it hits her like a freight train – beauty has departed…it’s bye bye, soon her world comes crashing down bc she is emotionally bankrupt…there is no back up….nothing whatsoever to fall back on except maybe all the junk she has accumulated all these years that even the Salvation Army will frown on – as thru the years she has not bothered with the business of building up her emotional security…all she has done is to live off the credit of her diminishing beauty and now that it’s gone…she has lost everything…it’s downhill all the way!

The same goes for a man, he goes around doing this and that so that others will give him nods of approval instead of investing in emotional wealth and one day when he loses his job or his car gets repossessed – he can’t take the fall from commanding heights and decides to end it all..again this is due to an abject failure to invest wisely in emotional wealth.

When one is emotionally secure, it simply means one is a very good investor…one knows what is real from fake….one knows what will pay out dividends in the long term from what can only be a complete waste of money and time and opportunity cost – one does not do stupid things like invest in things that can NEVER GROW FROM STRENGTH TO STRENGTH WITH THE PASSING OF TIME!

Never! You will never ever see serious men doing all this nonsense and should these serious men see their woman indulging in such nonsense, they will ALL have absolutely no hesitation telling her..you are dragging me down with your nonsensical indulgence…you are holding me back! Please stop! If you cannot do that…go! The serious man is very clear! That is why even the idea of a mate is highly optional to this quality of man.

So you will never see the mature man wasting his time or money on flashy cars or flaunting his wealth on trivial pursuits or to use all those other nonsense to feed one’s deluded emotional insecurity….the mature mind is always whisper quiet about money, status and prestige….in certain cases to the exceptionally emotionally secure man those things may even be optional to the point of being unnecessary….above all for one to aspire to be a true gentleman…a man must absolutely be a master over the self…that is the defining difference between the riffraff and the gentleman….the former is fundamentally a bag of nerves and insecurities pulling and pushing in one thousand and one directions, while the gentleman is like a calm mirrored lake, it’s full of purposeful energy and power.’

I finally realize. After all these years. There will always be a secret part of me, that I can never ever hope to share with anyone else, if I want to continue living a ‘normal’ life…as firstly, they will never be able to come to terms with who I really am – or even why there’s always a lingering awkwardness about me that they believe must have been brought forth by prolonged periods of isolation in the jungle.

No! They will never really know….they must never know!

No one will know. As I do an excellent job of hiding who I am…every morning before I walk out into the world. I scrub the wild off me with a wire brush…I am diligent and meticulous and when it’s done, I am clean like a whistle – very few people can see thru the creature behind the mask of the man….none in fact…my disguise is complete…..they might sense something amiss, especially women…as since they are especially sensitive to needs and wants at a primal level. But without such a thing as a handle to hold that thought…that is really where it all begins and ends…no further….just a hint…a mere suggestion like a whispering rush and soon the feeling passes.

Even when I am in the city surrounded by so many people….all I can ever seem to do is harbor a deep yearning to return back to the jungle….that is where I really want to be, to just sit on my rattan chair and be in the company of the birds, trees and dogs.

No one knows about this yearning I carry like a open wound in my heart – all they really see is a polished well educated country gentleman with impeccable old world manners …absolutely no one can make out that I am wild.

How can they?

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‘Yesterday as I walked the city. I was suddenly aware of a pack of wild city dogs training their eyes on me furtively across the road. I could tell from the strange look in their eyes….they were all under some powerful hypnotic spell. As if they had suddenly stumbled across a strange ancient language that had the power to disturb…a language written in alphabets they could neither read nor understand – it must have all been very strange for those dogs and that degree of strangeness can really only speak the length of one sentence –

‘How did one of us become one of them!

‘Where’s your tail? Do you like coil it around your waist and lick it so that it sticks or do you just stuff it all into that suit and hope that it doesn’t pop out? What happened to your fur and long ears! Another asked as if thinking aloud, look he’s even wearing shoes….I bet he can drive as well and not just stick his head out of a window and hang his tongue out like a flycatcher…I bet you all the mother of all Dino bone’s he can’t even remember what Alpo taste like any longer? Where’s your pack?….Would you like to join our gang?

I looked down hoping that they would all stop staring at me and just move on…but they stayed right there burning me like laser beams with their searching eyes… When I looked up I flashed them all a menacing look – go away! I told them with my eyes…please go away…I am on a secret mission in the city…all of you will give me away….obey me! Go away!

They laughed mockingly at me…..Obey me! Did you all hear that! Obeeeeeeeeeeey meeeeeeeeeee! One of them, the leader with a broad white streak running the length of his back stood ramrod with his head held high as if asking – teach us how to do what you do! The rest shouted him down, ‘don’t be stupid, can’t you see he’s damaged goods….he’s trapped in a human body…I bet he even takes a crap regularly in a toilet…he’s cursed!…how the hell did you mess yourself up so completely that you don’t even have a tail any longer! Either you have no respect for yourself or you fucked up big time blood! It’s so fucking painful to see one of our own stuck with four paws over there in concrete…you’re hurting our eyes blood!’

I narrowed my eyes and flared my nostrils, this time snarling, ‘Go away!’

They backed off a bit…..

But when I continued my walk, they followed me thru the faceless sea of men furtively from time to time looking at each other….it’s a vampire thing…an unspoken code in the wild…that one should always look out for the other, we are one happy family that kinda of thing…all the while the lingering taste of the wild clung to the back of my throat…..only they could sense it so very clearly that I don’t belong here.’

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I see myself exactly like a soldier whenever I am in the city….it’s always only about the mission. As I don’t ever want to stay here longer than I have to – usually I much prefer to structure it as an in and out affair….but to pull that off efficiently without any drag whatsoever requires not only skill but discipline and preparation as well….one has to learn how to cut deals without the unnecessary downtime of having to go back to rework mistakes or getting tripped up unnecessarily.

Just a few rules you need to know and always keep at the back of your brain….everyone is going to look you up and down and sideways and up your ass in the business world….I know you don’t like it. I realize you even consider that an invasion of your privacy – or maybe you don’t think that’s fair. As you much prefer them to show appreciation for how you and only you can blow bubbles with spit. But that’s how the rules of the game is played….so make sure you’re dressed to kill!

Make sure when you walk into that room…everyone goes wow! Blown away……shoes….that’s where 99 out of a 100 men screw right up….they pay the least attention to the one thing that everyone pretends not see, but they all only see…..make sure it’s sharp, so polished that you can see your mirror image…

Keep the ties conservative….nothing too flashy. The cue is class….only the highest quality will do.

Then walk into that conference room deliver your presentation bang, bang and bang style…by the time you have finished…they’re all dead…no one standing except you and walk right out into the faceless sea of men.

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‘If you lose a business opportunity bc the next guy pitched better or had a five chili business plan – then I say, brush off the dust and try again!

But if you lose it! All because you were a right mess and when you talk about efficiency and effectiveness and being the best in the world – all that people can see is a totally confused person who doesn’t seem to take pride in either himself or what he’s doing – or you lose because your table manners gave you away as a slob!

Or people are so distracted by how far someone can go in life wearing only crappy and dirty shoes…or a shirt that looks like it’s baked rather than ironed.

Then I say, stop! Don’t brush off the dust! Stop! Stay seated…stay exactly where you are – don’t ever get up! Don’t! As this way, you will not fall down like a bowling pin ever again!’

Concert in the city

March 27, 2016

I know you all think I am like you….but I am half man, half wild. I am not of your world…do you hear me!

I can hear a solitary finch three mikes away…sense the nitrogen rich approach of the monsoon. I can even sense the faint electricity in the air before a thunderstorm…I am aware of a thousand things in the city that most people are blissfully unaware of…how the air conditioned atmosphere feels like breathing needles…the strange sensation of ice against my lips and how it looks in a steel bowl…. The slight perfidy in a man’s voice. A wavering moment of hesitation in a woman’s voice when she says…perhaps. I can even tell whether a woman is menstruating from just the way she looks at me – I tell you….I am not from your world at all.

Do you all hear me!

Last evening a man thumped on the bonnet of my car in traffic….as I looked on..I asked myself what sort of judgement call would that be!

Doesn’t this fool realize I am not from his world…I may look as if I am cut from the same cloth as him…but in truth….there’s too much of the wild in me that no one can ever make out…. And if this man had known how that dark side of me would always have no hesitation in pulling back his head and slitting his throat as I look on with curiosity as he drowns in his own blood….he would have just stayed right in his seat in his locked car…how terrible it is to have these evil thoughts going thru my head in the city….I want to return back to my lovely jungle….I can taste the wildness at the back of throat…it says come back home my dearest…you don’t belong with them…

I don’t belong here….I don’t!… I only look as if I do…and appearances can so often be deceptively dangerous.’

Finally….

March 24, 2016

For the last six months. I have made friends with all the puppeteers and traveling show troupe in the kampung….I have even been a scriptwriter who has written a play about the 100 year drought.

Recently the evil consortium that has been set up specifically to stop me from buying land has been cracked wide open…there is division amongst them….many fear the good times have gone and they are throwing in the towel.

Two days ago…..I received a message that there is a parcel of land for sale….I will strike like cobra.

Very very hot

March 23, 2016

Cycled only 20 km. Felt more like 100 km in the full blast of the afternoon sun.

In the village where I turn the wheel of life. There used to be a naughty boy who everyone despised. This boy used to steal, drink, fib and experiment with drugs all the time. One night kampung legend has it – the naughty boy ventured into the lands of the devil himself to steal fruit – he was pinned down with a well aimed arrow to his sleeves and a bayonet was placed across his throat. As the creature from that other unmentionable world mulled whether to send him to the other side. Though no one in the village knows for certain – what actually transpired between the naughty boy and devil that fateful night.

All can agree without too much fuss – the following day, when the boy came down the hill, he changed completely…gone were his wayward ways. And soon the man emerged forth from the boy, who everybody called super donkey. There are many different accounts how this man managed to get this nickname…but all agree one reason why he’s associated with a dumb animal is partly because this man always seems to be working…when asked why he works twelve hours a day 365 days a year – he would usually mutter some nonsense like, ‘I don’t have much time left…he knows where I live! He will come for me if I do not fulfill my part of the bargain….he will!’

Super donkey is the hardest working man around a two hundred mike radius. He saves every penny and lives with his parents. It seems the only thing that interest him these days – is to collect brochures of tractors, excavators and farming hardware – whenever I visit the city, super donkey will always remind me to bring back the sales brochures of the latest heavy machinery which he files carefully and lovingly and appreciates during the evenings.

Two years ago super donkey put a down payment on a second hand jalopy of a tractor – for years he worked twelve hours a day, 365 days without even so much as a days rest and within a short time – he managed to buy a new tractor and soon it grew into fleet of tractors.

Till today no one knows what transpired between the devil and the naughty boy on that moonless fateful night.

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‘Never be in a rush to take in all of the world. Never! And should you come across people who seem only spend their money recklessly on trivial pursuits – my advice to you is to run away from these confused people as fast as your legs can take you!

Because not only have they got the wrong end of the stick. But it’s conceivable if you follow their stupid and frivolous ways – you too will end up going absolutely nowhere in life as well.

I can almost guarantee it 100%!

As in life, to live well….one needs to get the fundamentals right from the very beginning. Get that part right and the rest of life will sort itself out….neglect it, lose your focus or be distracted and you will end up wandering in small and big circles forever!

As I said, there is NEVER any rush to take in all of the world in one bite…the Eiffel Tower is not going to rust to dust…the leaning tower of Pisa is not going to come crashing down into a pile of rubble and as for the Grand Canyon, there are no plans to turn it to a landfill – so it will all STILL be there for you to appreciate later on in life.

But the best thing about delaying the experience of the finer things in life is you will have the maturity, wisdom and experience to appreciate it much more then….and surely that by every definition has to be priceless.’

For so many years mankind has been socially conditioned to believe in the nonsensical idea for his life to improve…he must constantly pry open his brain and pour in new information all the time.

That is why if you look around in bookstores and libraries…there is enough self improvement books to stack up all the way to the moon and back again…..but tell me – is mankind closer to discovering the truth that will set him free?

The answer to that question has to be a resolute no.

In my years of seclusion in the jungle all by myself – I have spent many years reflecting deeply on this ONE question and my conclusion is as follows – the salvation of mankind does reside in learning more new things that he previously did not know.

Rather it may very well be found in the simple act of UNLEARNING so much of the nonsense that we have already accumulated in our heads like a junkyard.

It is all this nonsense of a mother of all messes that is already in man’s head – that is really holding back mankind and preventing him from reaching his full potential!

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‘Have you all noticed in this crazy world that we live in. Everyone is ALWAYS telling you – you need this to go further…or that to go faster….they are always trying to pry your brain open to pour in something new, improved and better.

No one it seems is very interested in unlearning many of the nonsense that has managed to encrust themselves like barnacles to one’s thinking.

You want to know why?

Because unlearning means they cannot sell you something that you do not already have in between your ears. To put it bluntly, the philosophy of unlearning is a pretty lousy business proposition. As since it cannot possibly make money at all….no one ever bothers with it…except perhaps only me.

As since I am against the idea of associating any of my philosophy concerning life with the very idea of money….the subject of unlearning makes perfect sense to me.

Many people have in the past have approached me with the idea of writing a book….but since they do so with only money in mind. I have told them quite plainly this runs counter to my beliefs and I will not do it!

Others have even suggested that I start a foundation – but again since only money seems to be their primary motivation.

Again I have told this misguided people….I will not do that either!

So what is the purpose ultimately? What is the point of all this?

To me the goal is to come, share and disappear completely from the face of this planet…it is to leave absolutely nothing of the man behind…no legacy….no great stories….no image even…..absolutely nothing.

As when I reflect deeply on this subject….I believe if it is all done right, then whatever that is of value will ONLY live on in minds of others and even that is not something that I will ever dare say belongs to me…never…so there is just nothingness ultimately and that is the way it should rightly be.

I think when one understands the philosophy of unlearning better – all this will make perfect sense….as it supplies a life changing insight. For the time being…it can really only confound and confuse.’

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