No need to wayang, just be comfortable with who you are – the way of the farmer

September 18, 2012

As a farmer. I spend alot of time looking at trees. You could even say this is part of my daily routine. One of the reoccurring themes that I have gleaned from nature is how form and function is ALWAYS perfectly balanced. One never sees a tree that is so laden with fruit that the branches snap. They may yield by bending, but that is all. There is balance. A naturalness even amid strife and hardship.

My point is there is an ease and naturalness to nature that is worth emulating.

It is the same with a man. The fundamental principle that accounts for authenticity or naturalness is simply for one to cultivate the discipline of being completely comfortable in one’s own skin – this is not an easy thing to do. As the world constantly imposes its values and beliefs on all of us – it is constantly telling us to fear, to be wary, to hold back, to buy this and that to gain acceptance and approval from our peers. In other words to, the world is constantly shaping us, modulating our thoughts and even influencing the way we make sense of things, people and events. And this is why it is so important for us to develop the skills to be perfectly relaxed like a strolling elephant, yet alert like a panther. A relaxed mind is always effective in no matter what environment or situation. When the mind is not suffering anxiety and nervousness, only then can the face maintain a cool, calm edge of composure that suggests complete and total confidence.

There is no need to pretend. No need for contrivance in any shape or form. No need to fill up the crowds with your own supporters. No need to manipulate others to try to forward the impression of unity and well being. No need to engineer consent. No need for Potemkin villages to forward the idea all is well in paradise. No need to get morally questionable businessmen to float the idea that there is such a thing as a 3K job for dishwashers, when none ever existed. No need even to try to be anyone else except who you really are – and to be perfectly comfortable and ease with the idea that one is simply a child of nature.

Those who pay special attention to cultivating the discipline of being perfectly comfortable with oneself will be able to walk into the hearts and minds of others. Those who cannot would simply have to wonder why they can never seem to cultivate long term relationships based on trust and respect.

Darkness 2012 – This has been extracted from the popular e-series, The way of the Farmer.

“Being yourself has nothing to do with the level of education you may have or how much money you have in your bank account – I happen to know alot of people who have both, but they are still walking disasters – no matter where they go, they make people nervous and anxious – they can never foster deep spirited relationships. If you look carefully at them, people are always coming and going from their lives like a bus terminal. Most of the time, I say nothing – as it is very rude to give free and uninvited advice of such a personal nature.

But ask yourself, if you happen to be a woman – why do you find certain men sexy and appealing although they may have passed their prime or may not even have physically desirable qualities? Usually when you discount his personality along with education and wealth – it usually boils down to only one factor: naturalness or more precisely authenticity – truth of the matter is there is nothing more appealing than a man who is perfectly comfortable in his own skin – this is personal discipline at the highest level – it simply means, this man has got it all figured out, he has probably gone through many challenges and so it is easy to see how it doesn’t ruffle his feathers – so what you are seeing is a lau chaui at work, he has got it figured out.

Put this man in an interrogation room and he will probably give his interrogators high bloody pressure. Try to threaten him and he will hit back in the most unexpected way where it will damage the other side most. They wouldn’t even know that he is silently undermining them. Harry him and he will make himself into a moving target. Deep within the nucleus of this man’s character is a super hard shell – he knows himself. He knows his strengths and weaknesses. He knows how to fashion each aspect of his character as a weapon.

From this we can draw a few conclusions about life – although you may spend alot on grooming yourself to come across as stylish, neat and hygienic, IF you do not know how to keep your poise – then the only thing you will probably attract is either the policeman or flies. As you are really so nervous and anxious that no one can really feel at ease with you.

Always remember, nervous or for that matter anger along with anxiety can be transmitted to others. Similarly, confidence and calmness can be transmitted to others as well – but what makes this all possible is naturalness and authenticity – the way you carry yourself, speak and process information can be both edifying or disabling to others – it can either give them confidence in you or simply turn them off.

It is the same with a woman. If a woman is fat and the type where others only compliment her on her complexion and very little else – but yet she has invested in grooming herself from “the inside out,” then you will find that she will carry herself with dignity and poise – she is really a marvelous thing to look at – and even very desirable, as she exudes womanhood. There is really nothing as attractive as a woman who projects a motherly sort of calmness. Men usually find this attribute desirable and appealing.

But if the woman is beautiful, but she is like a ball of nervous energy dissipating all herself – then no matter how well dressed or made up she is – she can never come across as attractive or appealing – as she hasn’t really got it together or maybe she didn’t bother to cultivate this aspect of her character whenever she engages others. She is therefore just a girl – this of course may be a very disireable thing – only understand that this is likely to attract the lowest quality of men – as who the hell wants to be landed with a girl?

Practice the power of poise whenever you go out into the world – you will find that as time goes by, people will just take to you like fish to water. A little bit goes a far way, use it sparingly otherwise you will come across as sombong or atas (prideful).

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