Kids in Singapore should wear boxing gloves to school

February 16, 2016

That way they cannot possibly be accused of brushing against the bottoms of female teachers. To compliment this anti sexual harassment drive that has reached pandemic levels (real or imagined) MOE should consider it mandatory for all female teachers to don somber color industrial curtains from head to toe and revise the female teacher curriculum to include a three month stint on how to teach without banging into furniture and falling into drains while wearing curtains in Saudi Arabia – where they have to get a distinction on that module to graduate. All schools in Singapore should also be gender segregated where girl schools are only staffed by ONLY female teachers or possibly eunuchs and male schools are only staffed by male ONLY teachers. For added security against sexual harassment. All girls schools should be surrounded by a moat filled with piranhas and an outer wall fence patrol by ball seeking Doberman guard dogs. While we are at it, we should also have gender segregated rail carriages. All Singaporean men with the possible exception of homosexuals must display a sexual meter on their head that is connected to an app slaved to their smart phone that is linked to the nearest police station – in an event of an unauthorized or highly suspicious erection that does not include building structures, signage, masonry, ladders or scaffolding and only unmentionable organic body parts, the said offender who is always presumed to be guilty first must report to block 7 of IMH for interrogation within two hours. Failure to comply will result in the summary surgical removal of one testicle which will be pickled and displayed in the Padang for a full week p with a caption and photograph of the said offender entitled, ‘lercher’ This will do away with the need to despatch two fuel guzzling cars and save on human resources and the need to print T shirts thereby lowering Singapore’s carbon foot print significantly.

Better still ask PUB to add anti arousal chemicals into the water supply and all our social ills will disappear like lemon drops….or maybe we should all be reasonable and not overact and make effort to see things in the correct perspective.

Stupid people will always think and do stupid things!…there is no cure lah!


‘Why do men gawk at women? The short answer is because we are men lah – hello! it pays out zero to be coy about it. As it’s the most natural human impulse known to nature and at a primal level of perpetuating the homo sapien species. I can even argue that it’s hardwired into our very DNA because each time a man sees a sexually attractive woman our brain rewards us with a chemical high. It may just a two chili ripple of a high compared to a shot of heroine, but it’s still enjoyable and addictive.

This natural reward system is the alpha and omega of why men look at women. The same applies to women as well…they are hardwired just the same way. Though they do a better job of hiding that they’re sexually aroused by crossing their legs tightly etc etc…if you want proof…I can supply it. But that is another story I don’t want to get into by virtue of the law of defamation. So the end.

Back to the point. To exacerbate matters the marketing manifesto carpet bombs the already sexually frustrated man by titilating no end with streams of scantily clad women inorder to sell everything from cars to Bak Kuah. As a consequence of this unrelenting panoptical psychoing wonder no more so many men have developed a regular “habit” of looking at other women. This habit can become so ingrained that staring at a women becomes like a natural reflex and one that men feel they have very little control over.

Unfortunately, what is sorely missing from the narrative whenever we discuss sexual harassment is the culpability of women in piquing the sexual of interest of men – they dress provocatively in certain cases with their tits flopping out sans a la pasar malam style. Yet for some inexplicable reason remain skittish or are quick to take offense whenever men lavish attention on them – that whole idea to me smacks of double standards and can at best be described as an immature desire to set men out for the fall i.e to cut the cake and eat it at the same time. What beggars the imagination is while one on hand these schizophernic women continue to insist they have every right to dress provocatively but yet they see nothing contradictory in harboring a frigid and prurient attitude towards sex. What about my elemental right to enjoy a glass of red cellared wine without the distraction of tits and asses flopping all over the place…how might my rights as a man be protected against endless suggestions of the illicit thrill of sex? I mean if I unzipped my fly and flopped out my black mamba…or maybe anaconda and asked the girl next to me, ‘excuse me…but do you want some of this?’ No one would bat an eyelid if men in white coats came around and packed me off to block 7 of IMH…but if a woman dresses provocatively with her body parts exposed why don’t I have the same rights to prosecute on the idea my elemental rights as a man has been appropriated! That my personal space has been breached and that constitutes an invasion of my privacy! She is bloody disturbing me! Why can’t I dial 911. Why can’t I demand for a royal commission of inquiry to look into the proposition of demanding that all women in Singapore go around in curtains. After all don’t I have a right as a man to enjoy my red wine in a public place in peace?

Do you now see how hypocritical society is – and how a man, not even a decent one can ever win when so much weightage is place in favor of the woman.

That’s why every Singaporean man should always carry around a laminated card in his pocket that reads, ‘Please remain calm…I have absolutely no intention to fuck you!’ Through the years I’ve found this magic card to be the especially useful in managing myself and psychotic women who think that every man is out to climb down their panties – when things get too nutty, I just hand it over to her when she realizes all we want is for her to cover herself with to do is cover herself with curtains….suddenly the world stops spinning. Experience informs me, having a frank attitude to sex even if it happens to be brutally frank to the point of coming across as rude is far healthier than our sniggering skittish obsessiveness with sex.’

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