The fear of intimacy

Not very long ago, I asked a girl who always pretends not to see me whenever I go there for lunch….what is the furtherest distance between two points….at first this girl pretended not to register my question to her. But it must have been too much for her to bottle up I reckon. It is after all a very interesting question. So eventually when this girl could stand it no longer, she blurted out, ‘scientist say, it is the distance that separates two furtherest stars in the universe….is that right?’

I smiled and told her, ‘No. It is when I am standing here right before you and you don’t even see me.’

That is when she lowered her head and blushed.

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‘Most people are not cold and indifferent EVEN when they appear to be so…they’re not…so don’t take it personally. Your neighbor who you hardly know and seems content not to know further about you besides the fleeting hello and goodbye followed by a sheepish smile…he or she is not cold or indifferent either. That’s just a way to protect themselves against getting hurt and disappointed….when people keep a distance from you. Never take it personally. There is nothing wrong with your aftershave. No…you are not wearing a look of a sex crazed stalker…it just means they want to be in their little hermetically sealed bubble world of inner consciousness….that’s fine….only understand this clearly!

When we decide to play it safe, we sabotage our chance to make real and memorable connections in authentic ways. That’s to say we are so triple bubble wrapped safe that we can only disappear completely and feel and experience absolutely nothing.’