An Epic driving day + 139 bunnies

Some days are made just for cars and people who like to drive. Today just happens to be one of those days. The road just got a decent wash by the rains the day before. Mr Car is purring and buttery smooth and I am just enjoying the forward glide. Moments like these should be appreciated. The problem with most of us is that we are either living in the distant past or imagined future. As a consequence we fail to take stock of the now – the present. We don’t register the beauty of whats before us and worst of all this corrosive outlook robs us of the fullness of life.

I meet one of my readers recently. She was maybe in her mid thirties and she intoduced herself by yelling out – Hey you’re shorter than I imagined! That’s when I knew she reads my blog. They all say that. We started talking and when it came time to part- she mentioned, you’re autistic rite? She went on to add – you don’t come across as such. I told her, there were 139 bunnies on her T shirt. She was wearing one with bunny prints. I have a proclivity of seeing things that most people don’t. I don’t know why. In my youth, I used to frighten other kids because I could always see so clearly the things that they all couldn’t. I used to spend slot of time wondering why no one could see what I saw. Later on in life, I hid it. I even feigned ignorance when I knew the answer….it was all so clear to me and one day will pissing, I experienced a moment of epiphany- what if I am someone who can experience nowness more than most people…what if? I was probably holding a bucket of piss in my bladder and now I was simply enjoying the relief. Truth is. I never really got to test out that experiment and the reason is because to do it conclusively one needs a control i.e I need to know how you experience nowness as a comparative. Well to cut a long story short. I went on with my life with this notion stuck like chewing gum some where at the back of my mind. From time to time, whenever I stopped dead in my tracks and stared at something or someone that took my breathe away it was always a solitary moment. I could never share it with anyone – could have been anything, someone like myself who just stood out like a swollen sore thumb in the crowd….another autistic person. I could literally peer beyond flesh, bone into the recesses of their mind and murmur to myself – Ah Yes…I am one with you brother…the way the light slices a tall skyscraper, a white line of a jet tracing across the azzure skies, the restlessness of a flock of birds just before their ardous migratory flight. I sensed all these hemispheres of nuances in salutory silence and it was always tragically tinged with an aching sense of loneliness. I used to resent this, but I no longer, maybe I’ve become more philosophical or at least measured in my outlook of life. Perhaps I am simply too busy living in the now these days to bother rumminating any longer. The late Ryuichi Sakamoto once said, Life is short and Art is long….well if more folk dedicate themselves to living in the present instead of the past or future, maybe one life is enough to see and feel it all and much more.

Oh Yes! the girl with the bunnies T shirt – she messaged me a few days later, you’re spot on! Its exactly 139.